An Open Letter To the Fantasy Gods

Dear Fantasy Gods,

First of all, hello. How's life been treating you? Bet you guys are happy the NFL lockout ended. Me to. In other news, thanks for helping me get second place in my fantasy baseball league. That was great! Last to second place, very nice work.

However, this football season has been very unfair. First in one league you tell me that I have the best draft class. Then you smash my hopes in my survival league as I doubt the Redskins and pick the Giants. Really? You couldn't let Rex Grossman have one turnover in that game? I mean, I guess you made up for it the next week but come on. That isn't even the worst part.

Back to that whole "best draft class" thing. My Group of Flunkies has been exactly that. Three weeks into the season and they have only managed 179 total points. I know you guys know your math but that isnt even 60 points a week. Seriously?!? My highest scorer is Kevin Kolb. KEVIN, wait for it, KOLB! I have Vick, Desean Jackson, Chris Johnson, I mean surely one of them could have an awesome week! On a team with such potential my high scorers I haven't had one good week (until this week where I gave up on Vick - 33 points on my bench - and picked up Grossman - 7 points in my lineup - who was playing the Rams, epic fail. Needless to say, I'm down 26, my opponent is done and I have Addai playing tonight. I could have won.).

Of course I give up on my starters and start playing recent pickups who had good weeks last week, Nate Washington and Grossman against a poor opponent. I play Felix Jones who had a great week last week, on my bench, instead of Johnson and they reverse their production this week. I sit Ben Tate, since you allowed Arian Foster to get healthy, only to watch Foster own and Tate's value flush down the toilet. Also this week Tim Hightower becomes useless since Shanahan can't stick with one RB to handle the majority of the workload. Thanks a lot Shany, in the words of a pop culture icon, "I don't even know you and I hate yo guts." I just can't win, literally.

Also, why in the world do I have to face a QB who has a career week each week. This week, for example, I faced Aaron Rodgers and Cam Newton. I knew going in Rodgers was going to put up good numbers but, dramatic pause, really? He had to put up 53! In each league, occasionally in both, my opponents QB has at least 3 TDs or puts up 20+ points (Newton put up 33, respectively). It is honestly insane. Sure, Vick in week 1 posted good numbers (and this week on my bench as I said before) but he was terrible or injured in weeks 2 and 3. If it isn't their QBs blowing up its two players, as it was in week 1. When playing my uncle, Schaub scores 10. Lesean McCoy and the Bears D go off for 24 each and the only one on my team to produce is Vick.

Fantasy Gods I know you are very busy so I won't bore you with my fantasy football rage. At least for another week. However, if you don't let me win soon my head my explode. I have a wife and child. They don't need to see that. In closing, I hope you enjoy the gift basket that I sent you. It has cookies in the shape of little footballs. I know how much you love those.

One Love,
Brandan

Fantasy Journal - OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

The fantasy football season starts, TOMORROW! Did your head explode? Mine did. For the past 2 weeks all I've my chronic ESPN and Yahoo following has come to my teams being drafted. Starting lineups prepped, prepped, and prepped again. However, readers of my blog are so far behind. I had two drafts and haven't even bragged/complained about my team yet!



My two Yahoo! drafts went better than expected. Not only was my 12 team league faster than the 10 team in draft time (shocking!) and my teams might not suck! So instead of analyzing all my picks I will tell my position in each draft and who I selected. Each league has a roster as follows:



QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, RB/WR, WR/TE, Defense, Kicker



The first being the 12 team league early Sunday afternoon. A league in which I finished out of the playoffs last season, hello early draft position this season!





League Name - Battle For Awesomeness
Team Name - The Junk Punters



(because a kick to your crotch feels so top notch!) go to the link to get the reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vglZCRMbyQ



This season I decided to show my loyalty and my love towards my first pick. With the second pick I snagged Ray Rice, over Captain Fumblitis Mr. Adrian Peterson. Rice killed it for me last year in my ESPN league so I couldn't deny him a spot on my roster. So after him my draft looked like this, pick number in parentheses. Desean Jackson (23), Jamaal Charles (26), Dallas Clark (47) , Kevin Kolb (50), Malcolm Floyd (71), Felix Jones (74), Philadelphia D (95), C.J. Spiller (98), Carson Palmer (119), Lee Evans (122) , Darren Sproles (143), Austin Collie (146), Fred Taylor (167) and Robbie Gould (170). All in all this looks like the best team I have ever had in this league. At least right now they lead the league in high hopes. Kolb is a bit of a risky pick but I wanted at least one QB/WR connection.

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• Hey, guy who wrote this Saturday, Kolb sure was a risky pick! DUH! Going into the Monday Night games I am down 60-29. I have 3 players remaining, 2 RBs and a WR (Rice @ Jets, Charles vs. SD and Floyd @ KC), so I am not completely out of it yet. Not too confident about Rice against the Jets to open the stadium. Charles and Floyd will hopefully produce against poor defenses. Add to the fact my opponent still doesn't understand what NA next to Santonio Holmes means (it doesn't mean he's carrying narcotics[again], it means he is not active!), I think there is a slight chance. Now excuse me as I punch myself for not just starting Carson Palmer.

My friends and family league (10 team head to head) drafted on Labor Day a little before 1pm. Imagine to my surprise that the guy with the number 1 pick (who didn't want Chris Johnson) ate his entire draft clock therefore autopicking Johnson. In reality he wanted Drew Brees. This is me documenting those actions so he can't say this, "Oh I was just messin' with you guys," at a later time. His length of time to pick should have tipped me off to what was going to be the longest 10 team draft ever. 2 were AUTOPICKS!

League Name : CBS Will Always SUCK!

Team Name: 3 Penis Whiners

("The League" reference)

Once again, Rice went to me as I had an early pick (3rd) and the rest of the draft went like this: Ryan Grant (18), Miles Austin (23), Anquan Boldin (38), Antonio Gates (43), Terrell Owens (58), Carson Palmer (63), Dallas' D (78), Knowshon Moreno (83), Felix Jones(98), Kevin Kolb (103), Ladainian Tomlinson (118), David Akers (123), Sidney Rice (138) and Mike Williams[TB] (143). Looking, "prettay prettay prettay good." If I don't mind saying so. Pretty deep at RB so might be some trade bait there. Or in case of emergency, break open bench!

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• No punching in this league necessary as I actually start Palmer instead of Kolb. The injury to Ryan Grant hurts considering Moreno sat on my bench with 12 points. While Grant had only 4 and a leg injury. So consider this an emergency. Grant has had ankle problems and that is what the early report is on the injury. If my complaining hasn't told you already, I am down in this game as well. Losing 77-58 with both of us having players going tonight. Rice, Gates and Charles to go while he has Dwayne Bowe and Shonn Greene. I think Green and Rice will match each other while Charles and Gates may explode. Each player is facing a sub par defense and Bowe is to. He has excellent career numbers against the Chargers. I'm not giving up, I'm just being realistic.

Monday Update ESPN League:

• Complete destruction by the Nerf Herders. Matt Forte(30 points) for MVP assisting my team to 93 points and an early 32 point lead on Team AFK. We each have players to go, Baltimore defense for me and Chris Chambers/Jerricho Cotchery for him. Saying his players were of higher caliber I may be worried. Up 32 with only a defense to play, I highly doubt the dynamic duo of Chambers and Cotchery can make up 32+. Special shout out to Ochocinco(21 points), leading the Bengals charge to second place in the AFC North. As for this game, I never will lose this large of a lead to low tier players. I know they say to never say never but I'm saying never!

Well follow the updates to see how my team is or isn't doing. Expect a new journal to tell final results. Good luck tonight to those who need some points to dominate!

10 Things I Have Learned About Fantasy Football

So after my improbable dismissal from the ONLY league I was eligible for a championship, I thought I should pass along a little advice. This also could be considered a cry for help to the man who utterly owned me this week (he had Ray Rice, Andre Johnson, Buffalo defense and Jay Feely), I hate you. Hate is such a strong word, despise sounds better.

So the top 10 things I have learned about Fantasy Football...

10) I am the Dallas Cowboys of Fantasy Football

Yeah I know I am an 8 win team in the regular season but let's face it, I just can't win in any format besides CBS. I would fire my coach but I just don't have the heart. I like him too much. Besides, he is great in the regular season!

9) Don't believe the hype of last year

This is directed at Steve Slaton. He utterly killed me this year. I drafted him as my second back to Maurice Jones Drew. I love MJD and would pick him again in a second. However I will be against having Slaton on my team ever....EVER...AGAIN! He is now added to the banned player list which leads me to..

8) Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice...

Without completely mocking "Dubbya", I can never be fooled again. Previous drafts for me lead me to my banned from my team list. On that list is, Steven Jackson, Larry Johnson and Drew Brees. Why Drew Brees? I don't want to ruin his career. He is only great for me when he is on my bench. Call it voodoo, call it whatever you will, Drew Brees will not be on my roster. I like him too much.

7) Time to invite my buddies significant others

Previously to this season I haven't had to live down the infamous, "Dude even your girl made it further then you!" In my defense my girlfriend actually does follow football and knows 99% of the players and all of which who are on her roster. However my aunt doesn't even know who Adrian Peterson is. "I just drafted who was at the top of the list, who is this Adrian Peterson guy?" Also she once picked Kyle Boller and said that Yahoo! suggested it. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU! She always makes the playoffs! ALWAYS! Ignorance is bliss I suppose.

6) In case of emergency...

I have known this after my first season when I watched another team fall apart. However my lesson didn't stick this year when I dropped Jonathan Stewart who I had drafted for this very rule. If you draft Ronnie Brown, Deangelo Williams, Brian Westbrook, Larry Johnson or Steven Jackson grab their backup later in the draft(like you will for Stewart, Ricky Williams or Lesean McCoy). If not that at least keep an eye on the waiver wire because other owners are vultures. They love to watch you squirm and panic.

5) Do you want to play the repeater?

Do you want to play the repeater? All Super Troopers quotes aside, no one ever has a repeat performance of the previous season. Who here wants to drive to Atlanta to punch Michael Turner in the face? Well, maybe not that since he is bigger then you. But don't you want to kick him in the shin? No, because he could sue. Don't you want to write him a nasty e-mail? There it is. Don't draft a guy who has a blow up season the year before and expect the same results. If Brady and Manning can't do it, who can? These are just some shenanigans, no one likes my shenanigans, oooooh silly shenanigans! Or you could go to that place with all the crap on the walls and the mozzarella sticks. (too many references for you, TOO BAD)

4) There are exactly 10 QBs worth their weight in gold

Maybe not even that but what I mean by this is that there are only a few quarterbacks that are going to average double digit points for you. Everyone knows a few (Brees, Manning, Favre, Rivers, Warner, etc). You need to grab the one that no one thinks of. This season that was Favre and Matt Schaub. While everyone was spending their first QB pick on Tom Brady, probably because he is so dreamy, the person who got Schaub later scooped up another position player. I'm not saying to grab Schaub with your first pick next year, especially since there is always a sleeper. My pick for next year is Joe Flacco. Call me Wacko for Flacco if you want. The guy is going to be an absolute beast next year, that is, as long as Derrick Mason doesn't retire again.

3) Late round running back WIN!

The past two years we have seen later round backs go absolutely crazy. As a Raven fan I am super happy that this year it was Ray Rice. Every year there is always one and I can't even pretend who next year's is going to be. The guy could get drafted this year. I only have been lucky enough one season when I drafted Adrian Peterson in his rookie season(in like the 10th round). It was the first and last time I was able to say that he was on my roster. You are sadly missed sir. However I did hit a homerun with a late round WR in Percy Harvin. So...there's that.

2) Hit the waiver wire early for sleepers

I can't say how many times I got on to my fantasy site on Tuesday afternoon to see a couple of people already active in picking up guys I wanted to scoop up for bye week fills or injury replacements. This year it killed me since I needed a TON of running back help with Slaton not doing much/getting hurt. Add to the fact that owners can start 3 in my leagues and anyone can see how I could have a problem. Also there are such things as making too many moves. Something I do a lot. My name is Brandan Spiegel and I am an over thinker when it comes to fantasy football. Where's the free coffee and baked goods?

Ladies and Gentleman, the number one thing I have learned about fantasy football is...

1) Play with people you are friends/enemies/or at least know

If there is one thing that The League (best comedy on FX...EVER) has taught us, it is that a tight knit group of buddies playing fantasy football is pretty awesome. It is like a family. A very, very dysfunctional family. One that you may call gay, retarded or threaten to kill on a weekly basis. One that you can threaten harm, deadly diseases or tragic ways to die on players who have scorned you that week. Now, losses in leagues of people that aren't known don't hurt less. It is a lot easier to get away from them when you lose to some schmo who has never met you. Saying all this there is only one other thing to say. A message to Alex Tirdil, Antoine Pollard, Brandon Waters, Michelle Landers, Bea Wells, Lauren Webster, John Moore, Marcel Cottman, and Nick Barnes...I hate you guys and I love you guys.

If you don't get it readers, you are missing out on quite a fantasy football group. Call them your best buddy, your girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, significant other(or insignificant other once you guys play fantasy together, BAHZINGA), uncle, aunt, co-worker it doesn't matter. Once September starts, another part of you opens up. Even discussions about the league in June get you pumped up. "When is the draft?" "Who you pickin'?" "Dude you suck!" Oh yes, it begins when you set up the league. My readers, the fun never stops. It lasts a lifetime.

Fantasy Football Awards - Week 9

For those of you who follow the blog my love for fantasy football is on display on a regular. Currently I belong to three leagues, two of which I am the commish. Sadly I have been busy and unable to keep up with my award posts. So its been almost a month without my input. So here is the long awaited weekly awards for week 9. As the familiars might know, two awards will not appear in this article to save the identities of those who had their hearts broken in our nailbiter of the week or for those who suffered the biggest beat down of the week, whoever had the worst luck ending up against Kurt Warner and Deangelo Williams. Your rear really hurts from the whooping you took.

For the scoring system click the link below:

http://bsingwithbs.blogspot.com/2009/09/scoring-system-for-fantasy.html

Moving on to the awards.

Week 9 Fantasy Football Awards

Our first award this week goes to a unit who let down everyone in week 9. So far this season they have had terrible numbers, mainly the past few weeks (against the Browns doesn't count). Two weeks in a row they have finished with negative points which is why this one hurts. Surprisingly still owned by 70% of teams in Yahoo!(more then top week 9 performers Seattle, Cincinnati and Tampa Bay) and only 48% started. So that 48% was pretty upset when they turned on their computer to find out that Arizona had destroyed this team at home. Ladies, gentleman and fantasy geeks I present you with this week's...

CHOKE ARTIST OF THE WEEK


Chicago Defense - -1 points (41 PA, int, sack)


This is just unacceptable for a defense to do this once let alone two weeks in a row. If you played them last night you aren't mad at them but after last week, who would have done that? In a week where you easily could have filled the void with classy match ups like Seattle vs. Detroit in week 9, you should have done it. Most owners were probably foaming at the mouth thinking Warner was going to be awful like in the previous week. The Cardinals are a completely different team on the road (why I have no idea) with an undefeated record. A complete reverse of last season when they never won on the east coast until the postseason. Warner has been smashing fools on the road including two monsters in the Eagles and Giants. I'm sure there were others that broke your heart last week, like Clinton Portis who got 0 points and a concussion. If you are relying on any Redskins to get you fantasy points, clearly that is desperation. I would know, I had to pick up Ladell Betts this week!

If you need a quick pick up on defense take a look at the Falcons. While they are going to get run all over, Delhomme is always due for turnovers. Add to the fact that they are only 44% owned in Yahoo! could make them a quick fix. Another sleeper is the Titans(42% owned in Yahoo!). While I hate them as much as most fantasy owners(I had them most of the season when they were scoring negative numbers then I scooped up the Saints D, haven't looked back since) they are getting healthier and face an abysmal Bills team this week.


NOTABLE PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK


So this award goes to a team/player who does really well just not as well as the MVP of the week. 47% owned in Yahoo! leagues shows that he is a bit of a sleeper. People gave up on him even though he faces a lack luster division lineup with poor pass defenses. In week 9 he outscored fantasy studs like Tom Brady, Big Ben, Philip Rivers and the Manning brothers. I find it amusing that he outperformed Tom Brady since this week's award goes to...


Matt Cassel 24 points (262 yds, 2 TDs, 2 pt conversion)


This one is a bit of a shocker. Which in my mind is what this award is about. Someone who isn't widely owned, who does well, that someone could pick up this week if need be. While he does face the stout, sarcasm much, Oakland Raiders D this week, he will have decent numbers. At least better than Eli or Matt Schaub who are on bye this week. Potentially better then Brady once again who is facing the Colts vicious pass rush and lowest scoring defense in the league. Cassel may have a terrible line but he does have some dangerous weapons in Dwayne Bowe and Jamaal Charles. Cassel is a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde player where some weeks he is great and others he is terrible. Hopefully this week he can pull it off for some of you desperate QB people out there in those 12 or 14 team leagues.


MOST VALUABLE PLAYER


There is no point in me even toying with this one. I hinted at his dominance earlier and he cost me a game this week (thank god the other person I faced sat him in favor of Jay Cutler, still beat me unfortunately...by 5!). It is blatantly obvious who this week's MVP is...

Kurt Warner 40 points (261 yds, 5 TDs)

What he did to the Bears defense was just completely unfair. I wish he would have only gotten those TDs to the tight ends since the guy I played also had Fitzgerald but that is neither here nor there. Warner is either putting up numbers like this, if on the road, or putting up 5 turnovers, if at home. It is hard to tell which one will show up from week to week but with the weapons at his disposal its hard not to like his chances for multiple TDs every week. He is going to be facing the Rams(twice, week 16 being the 2nd time which, in some cases, is the fantasy championship game), 49ers and Seahawks at least one more time with those last two being on the road where he excels. Warner is still in my fantasy football hall of fame for last year when I got him in the last round or at the end of the preseason when I picked him up off waivers and dropped Leinart. It is one guy I don't want to see in the fantasy postseason with his potential match ups. Our playoffs are weeks 14-16. Meaning that Warner is going up against the legendary defenses of the 49ers, Lions and Rams. Even if Warner is hurt every owner should scoop up Leinart immediately just to avoid the potential beat down he could give you.


So there you have it folks. Those of you who I am in the leagues with congrats to the owners who have these players. For the others, thanks for checking out the blog. I apologize for the lack of awards. Thanks to a no Facebook bet, I was able to focus! See you next time, same BS time, same BS channel...er, I mean blog.

Fantasy Football Awards - Week 5

For those of you who follow the blog my love for fantasy football is on display on a regular. Currently I belong to three leagues, two of which I am the commish. Hope the readers enjoyed Part IV (with the Russian), now its time for.... parto de cinco (spanglish for part 5...duh). As the familiars might know, two awards will not appear in this article to save the identities of those who had their hearts broken in our nailbiter of the week or for those who suffered the biggest beat down of the week, whoever had the worst luck ending up against Matt Hasselback and Minnesota's defense. Your rear really hurts from the whooping you took.

For the scoring system click the link below:

http://bsingwithbs.blogspot.com/2009/09/scoring-system-for-fantasy.html

Moving on to the awards.


Week 5 Fantasy Football Awards


Our first award this week goes to a man who hasn't given up much this season. When a team loses a game you can rarely blame on person. So you have to blame one entire side of the ball in this case. While it made for a very entertaining game on Monday Night, this team also allowed as many TDs in one quarter as they had in the entire season. Last clue is they made Chad Henne look like Dan Marino, says their own coach! If you had them you probably started them because of their ownage of opposing offenses (88% owned, 67% start in Yahoo! ; 100% owned by the Wildcat). So yes, thanks to the wildcat, say hello to this week's...

CHOKE ARTIST OF THE WEEK

New York Jets Defense - -1 point (31 PA)

What shocks me about this stat line the most is that, against a guy in his second start, they were unable to sack him or create a turnover. Their offense looked great with Braylon Edwards(sorry Browns fan/Lebron's homie) but their defense looked terrible in the fourth quarter. Most of the game they were okay but that last period was insane. Rex Ryan was ashamed of his own defense and felt the need to dog the Wildcat. Just because it dogged you Rex doesn't mean you have to insult the formation. The Dolphins are one of the few (if not only team) that can run this formation because they have the personnel for it. A QB that can air it out, two backs who are similar in rushing style and a vicious O-line. Add Pat White to the mix and you have a lot of looks that this one formation can give you. I don't see this formation going away so just deal with it Rex. If you had the team you had in Baltimore maybe you could have stopped it. I mean you had no problem stopping this in the playoffs last season.

Pierre Garcon with zero points this week gets notable FAIL mention this week. Second best Pierre in fantasy my foot!


NOTABLE PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK


So this award goes to a team/player who does really well just not as well as the MVP of the week. Unlike previous entries this one actually is a surprise that he did so well. This week he was number one at his position which is shocking considering the weeks that Roddy White, Jeremy Maclin, Andre Johnson or the Seahawks combo of Houshmandzadeh/Burleson had. So the man with a 30% increase in ownage this week (100% ownage of the Chefs who were cooking up a victory, so they thought). Look out Roy Willams, you may have just lost your starting spot to...


Miles Austin 24 points (250 rec yds, 2 TDs; 24 ret yds)

In week 5 only a few people took a chance on him, he was 35% owned with 15% of those actually starting him in Yahoo!, but everyone is hopping on the midnight train to Austin. Lame I know but this guy owned a pitiful KC secondary and helped one owner in my league(shout out to Lauren for having the balls to start him) in beating down another opponent. Now this has sports media asking, "Roy who?" Patrick Crayton was a complete non-factor unless you consider fumbling that punt making him a factor for Dallas. With Jason Witten declining, he hasn't done anything yet this season, and their backfield suffering from injuries on a regular, Jones and Barber with knee and quad issues, who knows what the future could bring for the king of Austin, TX. He now owns a franchise record for receiving, that is saying something considering the likes of Michael Irvin walking the halls in Dallas. With bye weeks steadily increasing for everyone, its worth covering extra Miles for Austin. Chris Berman ain't got nothin' on me!

A lot of players deserve to be here so here is a quick hit for you guys;
Donovan McNabb 31 pts, Ahmed Bradshaw 25 pts, Roddy White 22 pts and Jeremy Maclin 19 pts


MOST VALUABLE PLAYER


Two guys came back strong from rib injuries this week. Antoine Pollard is not one of them(he almost choked on a bone at Famous Dave's). That last part may not be true but what is is that each QB owned this week. I already mentioned McNabb but this guy clearly means more to his team, considering without him they lost the past 3 games.

Matt Hasselback 35 points (241 pass yds,4 TDs; 23 rush yds)

I assume that not a lot of people followed his injury status as heavily as I did since the two leagues I own him in he started. Of course my other options were Kerry Collins (ew) and Philip Rivers (on a bye) in one league with Matt Ryan against SF in the other. The fact that I also own Houshmandzadeh and finally am getting my draft picks worth out of him is, for lack of a better term, extremely relevant. None of my friends will admit that I told them that my man crush for Hasselback was almost as large as my affection for MJD. Hasselback was my sleeper QB in all of my drafts and luckily he fell to me twice. As long as he is healthy and/or playing someone in his division you may have to start him. Since this week only 20% of his owners started him and 39% of leagues didn't even own him in Yahoo! I'm sure that will change this week. Bye weeks and tough matchups for studs like Philip Rivers, @ Denver, or injury problems like Eli Manning will do that to owners. At least this week I owned the MVP of the week. Hope to keep that streak alive!

So there you have it folks. Those of you who I am in the leagues with congrats to the owners who have these players. For the others, thanks for checking out the blog. Think there should be another player on here instead of those listed? Want to make fun of me for my obsession with fantasy football? Go ahead in the comments below. Until we BS again.

Scoring System for Fantasy

SCORING SYSTEM FOR CUSTOM YAHOO! LEAGUES (2009 Edition)

OFFENSE

25 yards of passing/10 yards rushing/ 20 yards receiving - 1 point
Touchdown or TD for short (passing, rushing or receiving) - 6 points
Turning the ball over (interception or lost fumble) - -2 points

KICKERS

After Jim Mora's comments about Olindo Mare they need their own separate area

Field Goals 0-19 Yards - 3 pts
Field Goals 20-29 Yards - 3 pts
Field Goals 30-39 Yards - 3 pts
Field Goals 40-49 Yards - 4 pts
Field Goals 50+ Yards - 5 pts
Point After Attempt Made - 1 pts

DEFENSE

Our one league combines/combined defense and special teams while the other does not (this was only during weeks 1-3).

Sacks - 1 point
Interceptions/recovering a fumble - 2 points
Safety - 2 points
Blocked kick - 2 points
Scoring a TD - 6 points
Points Allowed (PA for short, this has a ladder system for scoring)

• PA 0 points - 10 pts
• PA 1-6 points - 7 pts
• PA 7-13 points - 4 pts
• PA 14-20 points - 1 pt
• PA 21-27 points - 0 pts
• PA 28-34 points - -1 pt
• PA 35+ points - -4 pts

With the special teams included (weeks 1-3)

• 35 return yards - 1 point
• return TD - 6 points

(this was posted for a reference to fantasy awards so I no longer have that long piece in all my blogs about those)

Fantasy Football Awards Week 2

For those of you who follow the blog my love for fantasy football is on display on a regular. Currently I belong to three leagues, two of which I am the commish. Hope the readers enjoyed the first edition, now its time for...THE SEQUEL. As the familiars might now, two awards will not appear in this article to save the identities of those who had their hearts broken in our nailbiter of the week or for those who suffered the biggest beatdown of the week,whoever played against Chris Johnson AND Frank Gore.

Scoring System(if you are familiar with the scoring then skip to the awards...its okay I won't tell)

The league's I run are on Yahoo! and use custom scoring. For offensive players the scoring is as follows 1 point for 25 yards of passing/10 yards rushing/ 20 yards receiving, 6 points per TD(rushing or passing) and -2 for turning the ball over (interception or lost fumble). Kickers also get points however they will never appear on this list unless they kick like 7 field goals. Points vary for them depending on the distance of the field goals they make. The defense on the other hand, as long as they play Jake Delhomme, can appear on here. Our one league combines defense and special teams while the other does not. Sacks (1 point), interceptions/recovering a fumble (2 points), safety (2 points), block kick(2 points), getting a touchdown (6 points) and points allowed (PA for short, this has a ladder system for scoring with 0 points getting 10 points, 1-6 points getting 7 points, 7-13 gets 4 points, 14-20 gets 1 point, 21-27 equals 0 points, 28-34 results in losing 1, 35+ not only means your team defense is awful (which they are) but they made you lose 4 points. With the special teams included we receive a point for 35 return yards and 6 points per TD. Basically if anyone scores a TD you are getting 6 points. So moving on to the awards.

Week 2 Fantasy Football Rewards

No one should be surprised by my choke artist of the week.Since there is no "I" in team, it's hard to blame an entire team for a loss. That is why you have to give it to half of the team that played like garbage. Great against the run, terrible against the pass. Ladies and Gentleman, your...

CHOKE ARTIST OF THE WEEK

Tennessee Defense(100% owned in Fantasy Football/Real Football, 94% started in Yahoo!)

If you were lucky you got credit for their return yards and got 3 points. Most of us didn't and lost at least 1 point (34 PA, 161 return yards)

Clearly this is a popular defense with a lot of people. Probably due to their opponents (Texans) people thought why not. People that are very unhappy after their performance this week. I can feel your pain, at least a little. The league I owned them in I also had Frank Gore. That doesn't excuse the Titans for a sad performance.

NOTABLE PERFORMANCE OF THE WEEK

So this award goes to a team/player who does really well just not as well as the MVP of the week. In most cases its a surprise that they did so well. For example, Tom Brady (or Kerry Collins, 16 points respectively, no seriously it happened) was limited to single digits while starting, this guy put up 30+ points in every league, most likely, on your bench.

Matt Schaub 38 points (357 yds passing, 4 TDs, 33% Start in Yahoo!)

Andre Johnson owners rejoice and laugh at those of us who still own Steve Slaton (what a slump). Schaub owners who played him enjoyed a beast mode game from a late round pick that they got to match up with Johnson. It is thanks to him that Tennessee lost that game. They couldn't stop a passing play. Unlike with the choke artist of the week, I can feel no empathy for anyone. I'm not monster of course I sympathize with you.

Frank Gore with 33 points needs an honorable mention. He did own the Seahawks this week.

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER

O.D.B. would say that this guy, "gets Psycho killerrrrrr Norman Bates!" O.D.B. further explained the MVP would ask, "How you like me now? You wanna get yo' teeth knocked the f.." Gotta stop you there, this is a family show.

Chris Johnson 41 points (197 rush yards, 2 TDs; 87 rec yds, 1 TD)

What is even more impressive is he did this with limited touches. It now has Lendale White owners asking when they can get some love? Johnson is explosive, once out in the open field he broke tackles and burned people down the sideline for his scores. This part of their offense was nonexistent in Pittsburgh for obvious reasons. Many Johnson owners were more then excited to see him go off. My question remains...WHEN WILL MJD DO IT?!? *head explodes*

Sorry I get a little emotional about my own players. Especially ones that I predicted would play well and hasn't done so yet. Do it MJD! Don't make a fool out of me!

So there you have it folks. Those of you who I am in the leagues with congrats to the owners who have these players. For the others, thanks for checking out the blog. Think there should be another player on here instead of those listed? Want to make fun of me for my obsession with fantasy football? Go ahead in the comments below. Until we BS again.