Tuesday Fantasy Yuckfest - 9/14/10 Edition

Whether you want to admit it or not, some of you have already begun dumping players. Thinking some were a bad idea. Hitting the panic button. We are all people and I feel your pain.



This may become a weekly thing where I poke fun at fantasy blunders from the week.



I Want to Punch Myself in the Face for... (additions in bold)

• Having Kevin Kolb and Carson Palmer in two of my leagues and opting to not start Palmer in both games. Palmer would have won me the game and saved me a headache. Speaking of headache, Kolb suffered a concussion in the first quarter (fourth play?) of the game Sunday. Which also effected Desean Jackson's production although Michael Vick was running everywhere (103 yards rushing in the game), that didn't help me this week.


• Making an excellent sleeper pick that I thought could be filler and left him on my bench in week 1. If this is true than Hakeem Nicks(for me it was Knowshon Moreno) was on your bench. Which means you and a buddy of mine in our ESPN league have something in common. Hopefully your team put up more than 28 points though. Just the worst display of fantasy football play ever to only get 28 points. Speaking of a sleeper pick.
• Being able to say this, "Arian Foster alone beat me." I can't say it but if you can, you are not happy right now. While we are on the subject. (added 9/15/10)
• Not drafting Arian Foster. I mean, he wasn't off my radar. Nor was he drafted that late. He looked to be a great later round pickup, honestly though. How often will the Texans run the ball that much? Why do I have a feeling that this question will bite me back later?


• Tying. Seriously Rivers, 4 opportunities and Gates couldn't get 1 ball thrown his way?!? I mean what are you trying to prove? I don't care that he was triple covered, throw him the ball. He's Antonio Gates! You play to win the game!


• Losing to someone who started Santonio Holmes. This was even after I told her he wouldn't do anything. Hello! He's suspended. Unfortunately, Kolb's concussion killed me. Along with well...you know. Sitting Palmer!


• Talking up Ryan Grant. Who apparently has a "significant ankle injury." Great. Just wonderful. Grant looks to be a candidate for my banned from roster list. Which leads me to my next point.


• Not picking up Brandon Jackson immediately when Grant went down. I have Grant in two leagues and attempted to pick him up in my ESPN league (won't know until Weds. if I got him off waivers). He was already gone in my Yahoo! league.

I'm sure there are more out there. Give me your reason for displays of violence against yourself or others. Did you just want to destroy something beautiful? Or want to punch someone who talks so much smack about their championship(s). Let me hear about it!

Fantasy Journal - OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

The fantasy football season starts, TOMORROW! Did your head explode? Mine did. For the past 2 weeks all I've my chronic ESPN and Yahoo following has come to my teams being drafted. Starting lineups prepped, prepped, and prepped again. However, readers of my blog are so far behind. I had two drafts and haven't even bragged/complained about my team yet!



My two Yahoo! drafts went better than expected. Not only was my 12 team league faster than the 10 team in draft time (shocking!) and my teams might not suck! So instead of analyzing all my picks I will tell my position in each draft and who I selected. Each league has a roster as follows:



QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, RB/WR, WR/TE, Defense, Kicker



The first being the 12 team league early Sunday afternoon. A league in which I finished out of the playoffs last season, hello early draft position this season!





League Name - Battle For Awesomeness
Team Name - The Junk Punters



(because a kick to your crotch feels so top notch!) go to the link to get the reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vglZCRMbyQ



This season I decided to show my loyalty and my love towards my first pick. With the second pick I snagged Ray Rice, over Captain Fumblitis Mr. Adrian Peterson. Rice killed it for me last year in my ESPN league so I couldn't deny him a spot on my roster. So after him my draft looked like this, pick number in parentheses. Desean Jackson (23), Jamaal Charles (26), Dallas Clark (47) , Kevin Kolb (50), Malcolm Floyd (71), Felix Jones (74), Philadelphia D (95), C.J. Spiller (98), Carson Palmer (119), Lee Evans (122) , Darren Sproles (143), Austin Collie (146), Fred Taylor (167) and Robbie Gould (170). All in all this looks like the best team I have ever had in this league. At least right now they lead the league in high hopes. Kolb is a bit of a risky pick but I wanted at least one QB/WR connection.

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• Hey, guy who wrote this Saturday, Kolb sure was a risky pick! DUH! Going into the Monday Night games I am down 60-29. I have 3 players remaining, 2 RBs and a WR (Rice @ Jets, Charles vs. SD and Floyd @ KC), so I am not completely out of it yet. Not too confident about Rice against the Jets to open the stadium. Charles and Floyd will hopefully produce against poor defenses. Add to the fact my opponent still doesn't understand what NA next to Santonio Holmes means (it doesn't mean he's carrying narcotics[again], it means he is not active!), I think there is a slight chance. Now excuse me as I punch myself for not just starting Carson Palmer.

My friends and family league (10 team head to head) drafted on Labor Day a little before 1pm. Imagine to my surprise that the guy with the number 1 pick (who didn't want Chris Johnson) ate his entire draft clock therefore autopicking Johnson. In reality he wanted Drew Brees. This is me documenting those actions so he can't say this, "Oh I was just messin' with you guys," at a later time. His length of time to pick should have tipped me off to what was going to be the longest 10 team draft ever. 2 were AUTOPICKS!

League Name : CBS Will Always SUCK!

Team Name: 3 Penis Whiners

("The League" reference)

Once again, Rice went to me as I had an early pick (3rd) and the rest of the draft went like this: Ryan Grant (18), Miles Austin (23), Anquan Boldin (38), Antonio Gates (43), Terrell Owens (58), Carson Palmer (63), Dallas' D (78), Knowshon Moreno (83), Felix Jones(98), Kevin Kolb (103), Ladainian Tomlinson (118), David Akers (123), Sidney Rice (138) and Mike Williams[TB] (143). Looking, "prettay prettay prettay good." If I don't mind saying so. Pretty deep at RB so might be some trade bait there. Or in case of emergency, break open bench!

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• No punching in this league necessary as I actually start Palmer instead of Kolb. The injury to Ryan Grant hurts considering Moreno sat on my bench with 12 points. While Grant had only 4 and a leg injury. So consider this an emergency. Grant has had ankle problems and that is what the early report is on the injury. If my complaining hasn't told you already, I am down in this game as well. Losing 77-58 with both of us having players going tonight. Rice, Gates and Charles to go while he has Dwayne Bowe and Shonn Greene. I think Green and Rice will match each other while Charles and Gates may explode. Each player is facing a sub par defense and Bowe is to. He has excellent career numbers against the Chargers. I'm not giving up, I'm just being realistic.

Monday Update ESPN League:

• Complete destruction by the Nerf Herders. Matt Forte(30 points) for MVP assisting my team to 93 points and an early 32 point lead on Team AFK. We each have players to go, Baltimore defense for me and Chris Chambers/Jerricho Cotchery for him. Saying his players were of higher caliber I may be worried. Up 32 with only a defense to play, I highly doubt the dynamic duo of Chambers and Cotchery can make up 32+. Special shout out to Ochocinco(21 points), leading the Bengals charge to second place in the AFC North. As for this game, I never will lose this large of a lead to low tier players. I know they say to never say never but I'm saying never!

Well follow the updates to see how my team is or isn't doing. Expect a new journal to tell final results. Good luck tonight to those who need some points to dominate!

Fantasy Journal - With the 11th Pick in the 2010 Draft, The Nerf Herders Select...

Ryan Grant. I know it isn't who I was hoping for but when I logged into the draft to find out what position I would have (the league commish for the 2nd year in a row had first pick, supposedly randomized) I wasn't happy. Really? 11th pick? The WR that were there were decent but not worth a #1 draft pick. So here is how it all went down.

Before the draft I had a meal which I would hope lead to the people in my house giving me some space. Red beans and rice. Unfortunately the unbearable gas didn't happen until after my draft plus my daughter would have thought my farts were hilarious. So after I raged a little at other fantasy nerds who got in there early about my late draft position I took care of some stuff around the house. Ease my mind if you will. But by the time 8:30 came around I was ready to go.

Imagine my surprise to see someone not pick Chris Johnson with the first pick. The draft went as most go, everyone taking RBs besides a couple picking up wideouts (Johnson, from the Texans and Moss, from the Pats). Luckily with the 11th pick this snake draft allows me to jump on another decent back at the 14th pick. So with those picks I made what I thought were the most solid picks left at RB with Grant and Shonne Greene. What felt like hours later I was ready to start picking up my other position players, WRs. As long as I got two decent top tier guys (one who's QB was still on the board) there wouldn't be a problem.

So of course I snagged Marquez Colston and Chad Ochocinco. Carson Palmer was a much later round pick so I knew I could sit on him. Perhaps draft another QB before taking him. The commish failed to make a flex position as he said he would so I had to grab a TE before all the decent ones were gone. Visanthe Shiancoe (from...MORGAN STATE) and Brent Celek were there and due to my loyalty from having him last year, I took Celek. So my position players looked pretty solid especially considering what I was looking at. Now due to what everyone else was doing (going crazy on defenses) the rest of the draft went like no other I normally do.

My next pick is usually a backup/matchup starter. So why not go with Matt Forte, in a Mike Martz system and looking great in preseason. If he couldn't catch out of the backfield Martz being there would hurt him more than help. After this pick I was sitting around waiting for my picks to come up and just watching a decent amount of defenses fly off the board. About 5. I knew if I wanted a top tier unit (albeit a homer pick but still) I would need to act fast. So when it came to me I hopped right on the Ravens defense/special teams. I took a glance at the rosters. Most everyone had QBs and needed more skill position help. So I thought I could let my QB spot go a little longer and picked up Thomas Jones. Yes, I know Jamaal Charles has looked a 1000x better than him but it's still Thomas Jones. He takes every one's job eventually. He most likely will get goal line carries a la Tim Hightower in Todd Haley's system 2 years ago. Now the waiting game.

Okay on the round heading up to me I start seeing QB's go off the board and realize I need to act quickly. Vince Young and David Garrard are taken. Good I didn't want them anyway. I jump on the Cutler train. I know no one wants Cutler. However he finished the season strong in his last few games and I really think Martz being there is going to make a difference for him. Last year was his worst year as a pro. One of my fantasy rules is never expect a repeat of a previous season. This being one of those cases. With my next pick I grabbed his proposed #1 target in Johnny Knox. Figuring that I could grab Carson Palmer on the next go around. Needless to say, I was wrong.

Normally I stay away from kickers until the last round. I don't draft 2 of them (or 2 defenses) because someone always steps up or has a great matchup the 1 or 2 weeks you need them. However when I saw 3 kickers jump off the board before it got back to me I knew I needed to grab the best option. Rob Bironas was there and I scooped him up. Kaeding was off first in the 7th round, Gostkowski to follow in the 8th, Nedney and Longwell in the 9th before I watched Akers (who I wanted), Mason Crosby and Garrett Hartley go. None were drafted in the 11th before I took Bironas but I would rather have him than Nedney or Longwell. I grabbed a backup WR on a reach when I scooped up Eddie Royal who is now the best option in Denver. The rounds are flying by and I realize there are only 3 more to go. Me still with no backup QB. Houston, we have a problem.

So what felt like 5 hours later, was probably a mere 5 minutes, I grab a backup QB. Matt Moore. Yet another reach for a QB. He is another one who looked decent towards the end of last season and he does face such epic defenses as Tampa Bay (this isnt 2003, Derrick Brooks isn't walking through that door), Atlanta and New Orleans. NO being the main one to worry about due to there inate ability to get turnovers. Oh look at that it's my turn to pick again. Why has no one drafted Willis McGahee? I mean especially whoever has Ray Rice should have grabbed him. Well whatever, thanks buddy. McGahee probably won't have a similar year to last year but should be useful for matchups or bye weeks. Especially if he starts getting all the goal line work. Hooray another long wait for my last pick.

With the 179th pick, the Nerf Herders select (long dramatic pause) Mike Williams. Receiver, Tampa Bay. For some reason this AM I felt the need to post this to facebook just to screw around. I thought it was funny and know that anyone who was on at the time didn't care. Honestly at that point in the draft, I didn't care. If I can get someone who has been talked about all over the web with great upside, that is a win. Williams is that guy.

So as of week 1 my roster is going to look like this...

QB - Jay Cutler
RB - Ryan Grant
RB - Matt Forte (against the Lions, sorry Suh)
WR - Marquez Colston
WR - Chad Ochocinco
D/ST - Ravens D
K - Rob Bironas

With the remainder of players hanging on the bench. More than likely, knowing me I will change everything like 80 million times but this looks good to me. Plus I am going against someone who auto picked their draft and managed to grab Sidney Rice (out until late Oct, Nov) so that will be a big fat donut in that roster spot. Since his team is named Team AFK (away from keyboard), last season he never logged in. For some reason the commish invited him back. I think, possibly the two guys are sleeping together. Which would then make sense for the awkward fantasy football name which uses a gay slur in the title. I am too grown for that, well not really.

So if you aren't sleeping already thanks for reading and I will see you back here soon. Especially since I have yet another draft on Sunday. Hooray!

Fantasy Journal - Pre Draft Jitters

Manager's log - Entry 1 - Pre-draft for ESPN League
Team: Nerf Herders

(you can't say that that's our word!)

I am sitting here, mere hours away from my first fantasy draft with pre-draft jitters. Who will I take? Where will I be drafting? Will my head explode?

The answer to those questions will be answered tonight. As far as who to draft? Now that my daughter has gone down for her nap the research/panic can begin. Overthinking it can begin. Honestly I won't know the draft order until 7:30pm EST. I will know what position I will be looking at but come on. My competitor's might read this! Don't wanna give too much away.

Those who know me know my fantasy football drafting beliefs and probably know what I am going after. I have a strong no QB policy in the first round. Don't know why, I just do. Perhaps it is my lack of a man crush on Peyton Manning who usually is the first QB to go. Maybe it is my many man crushes on other position players. Little of both I suppose. Truth is most leagues use 1 QB. I need more good position players than QBs. Not that Manning isn't great. Just that there are others that are good that put up similar if not better numbers than him.

This is my ESPN league which is with mostly people who don't know me. If they remember me from last season they will know that I drafted 5 RBs total for 14 roster spots. This is a league with 1 RB spot and a RB/WR flex spot to start. Very heavy WR based league. My RBs last season, in order of drafting, were Deangelo Williams, Frank Gore, Ray Rice, Jonathan Stewart and Lesean McCoy. I highly doubt I will get Rice as late as I did last season (unless I am in the top 5 to draft) which was a late round reach then. Now, not so much. Deangelo Williams is officially black listed from my fantasy team, he is on the banned list (read one of my previous posts from last season). Too many injuries and not enough performance after a stellar 2008. Possibly a later reach, highly unlikely though. I am hoping for a similar receiving core like I had last season.

As I said, heavy based WR league. With 3 possible spots last season (this season the roster looks to be 2 RB, 2 WR and a TE). In order of draft spot, last season I had T. J. Houschmandzadeh(hooshmazilli, championship!), Vincent Jackson, Desean Jackson (no relation and with my very next pick!) and honestly I don't remember who else. It says something that I remember all of my drafted RBs and not WRs aye? None of them matter to me this season except for D Jax. Vincent is out for the first few games(might hold out for all of them) and Hoosh is not who me or Denny Green thought he was. I pretty much filled in Hoosh's roster spot with randoms throughout the season. Same with my TE spot. Mostly filled last season by Brent Celek. The team got me the king of the loser's title. Which is not what anyone wants. All my big players got hurt in the last week of the regular season (for fantasy) and I needed a win to get into the championship round. Which looking back on it, I would have won had my players not gotten hurt. But if coulda/woulda/buts were candy and nuts we'd all have a merry fantasy season wouldn't we?

Truth is I just wanted to jot down my thoughts which I will probably doing throughout the season. Stay tuned to find out what my roster looks like in all of my leagues. Or don't. Ya jerk!