Dear Fantasy Gods,
First of all, hello. How's life been treating you? Bet you guys are happy the NFL lockout ended. Me to. In other news, thanks for helping me get second place in my fantasy baseball league. That was great! Last to second place, very nice work.
However, this football season has been very unfair. First in one league you tell me that I have the best draft class. Then you smash my hopes in my survival league as I doubt the Redskins and pick the Giants. Really? You couldn't let Rex Grossman have one turnover in that game? I mean, I guess you made up for it the next week but come on. That isn't even the worst part.
Back to that whole "best draft class" thing. My Group of Flunkies has been exactly that. Three weeks into the season and they have only managed 179 total points. I know you guys know your math but that isnt even 60 points a week. Seriously?!? My highest scorer is Kevin Kolb. KEVIN, wait for it, KOLB! I have Vick, Desean Jackson, Chris Johnson, I mean surely one of them could have an awesome week! On a team with such potential my high scorers I haven't had one good week (until this week where I gave up on Vick - 33 points on my bench - and picked up Grossman - 7 points in my lineup - who was playing the Rams, epic fail. Needless to say, I'm down 26, my opponent is done and I have Addai playing tonight. I could have won.).
Of course I give up on my starters and start playing recent pickups who had good weeks last week, Nate Washington and Grossman against a poor opponent. I play Felix Jones who had a great week last week, on my bench, instead of Johnson and they reverse their production this week. I sit Ben Tate, since you allowed Arian Foster to get healthy, only to watch Foster own and Tate's value flush down the toilet. Also this week Tim Hightower becomes useless since Shanahan can't stick with one RB to handle the majority of the workload. Thanks a lot Shany, in the words of a pop culture icon, "I don't even know you and I hate yo guts." I just can't win, literally.
Also, why in the world do I have to face a QB who has a career week each week. This week, for example, I faced Aaron Rodgers and Cam Newton. I knew going in Rodgers was going to put up good numbers but, dramatic pause, really? He had to put up 53! In each league, occasionally in both, my opponents QB has at least 3 TDs or puts up 20+ points (Newton put up 33, respectively). It is honestly insane. Sure, Vick in week 1 posted good numbers (and this week on my bench as I said before) but he was terrible or injured in weeks 2 and 3. If it isn't their QBs blowing up its two players, as it was in week 1. When playing my uncle, Schaub scores 10. Lesean McCoy and the Bears D go off for 24 each and the only one on my team to produce is Vick.
Fantasy Gods I know you are very busy so I won't bore you with my fantasy football rage. At least for another week. However, if you don't let me win soon my head my explode. I have a wife and child. They don't need to see that. In closing, I hope you enjoy the gift basket that I sent you. It has cookies in the shape of little footballs. I know how much you love those.
One Love,
Brandan
Monday, October 3, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Fo' Real or Fo' Suck
So it's that time again for NFL experts, idiot savants like myself, to crown Super Bowl champs after 2 games of the NFL season. They also enjoy picking on those who have gotten off to a slow start, saying they are "stuck on Luck" referring to potential number 1 pick Andrew Luck, by losing their first couple games. Well just for kicks and giggles, here is my take on the whole thing.
So out of 32 NFL teams there are 7 that are 2-0. Which for you stat nerds means 21% of the league is undefeated. 3 of those teams belong to the AFC East (Bills, Jets and Patriots). The Bills play the Pats this week to prove themselves. If they pull of the victory then expect experts to pick them and the Lions in the Super Bowl. While the rest are playing against 1-1 or 0-2 teams. The rest of the unbeaten are the Houston Texans, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins and the upstart Detroit Lions. Yeah, those Lions.
Everyone seems to be hopping on the Lions bandwagon but I remain cautious. They are still in the same division as the Packers but it looks like they may be a better contender than the Bears. Jay Cutler may not survive the season as often as he gets sacked and the same could be said about Matt Stafford from the Lions. If the wind picks up he could have a broken collarbone. If Stafford stays healthy, the percentages of that happening are low, the Lions could honestly be a playoff team. Their offense is explosive with Calvin "Megatron" Johnson and their defense with Ndamukong Suh in the middle has been decent. Against poor teams hence the caution. Fun fact, they are 10-0 dating back to last season. Including preseason that is. I don't expect them to win the division by any means. I think the two teams out of the NFC North are the real deal. The Packers have an MVP candidate, all around fantasy darling, Aaron Rodgers at QB. Defending champs have gotten a raw deal in years past but this is a team that won the Lombardi Trophy even while struggling through injuries to their best players. Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant to name a couple. While they may not have the same team they have all those injured players back. Making their offense one of the most dynamic in the league.
The Jets and Texans are facing some tough road games in Oakland and New Orleans. New York is traveling to the black hole to face a Raiders team who are trying to prove they are going to start to matter for the first time in years. Darren McFadden has been on a roll lately but going against the Jets defense could be a challenge. However out of these two teams it is the Raiders who have the most to prove. Everyone believes in the Jets already, Rex Ryan wouldn't have it any other way. The Raiders on the other hand are in a struggling division trying to become a contender. While Houston, a undefeated team who has beaten the hapless Colts and the awful Dolphins, are playing their first playoff caliber team in the Saints. It will be a battle of familiar teams, great offenses with developing defenses. I can't go against the Saints at home but it should be a close one. Expect a shootout. Even though Brees is without some of his weapons. He is one of those quarterbacks where injuries to key players don't seem to phase his numbers. He produces no matter who is out there.
Speaking of production no matter the talent on the field, how about those Redskins? Even they remain undefeated with Rex Grossman out there. Who knew Shanahan was right about Grossman over McNabb? Clearly not the Vikings. The Skins have a division showdown with the enormously hated Cowboys this week. One of the great rivalries in the league, it seems no matter the record of the squads they produce a good game. Deangelo Hall is focused on Romo's ribs and who can blame him? Who wouldn't go after an injury to a team's franchise quarterback? This game closes out the weekend on Monday night and I'm sure it would thrill no team more than the Cowboys to end the Skins late success. I have a feeling that this game is going to come down to the two defenses. Either quarterback could be a turnover machine. We have seen it from both in their careers. We have seen two different forms of Tony Romo in the opening games of the Boys season. He either chokes in the final minutes or comes back from a punctured lung to win a big game on the road. The question mark is Grossman. Can he go another game without a turnover against a division opponent? Only time will tell.
Who knows after this weekend which team will still be undefeated. Some games would be easier to pick than others. Good luck to all those undefeated teams this week, especially the Bills. You are going to need it.
It has been a long time since I have "bs'ed" on here. I have to say I missed it. I hope you did to. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I would love to hear how awesome you think I am, even if you think the blog sucks more than my fantasy teams.
So out of 32 NFL teams there are 7 that are 2-0. Which for you stat nerds means 21% of the league is undefeated. 3 of those teams belong to the AFC East (Bills, Jets and Patriots). The Bills play the Pats this week to prove themselves. If they pull of the victory then expect experts to pick them and the Lions in the Super Bowl. While the rest are playing against 1-1 or 0-2 teams. The rest of the unbeaten are the Houston Texans, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins and the upstart Detroit Lions. Yeah, those Lions.
Everyone seems to be hopping on the Lions bandwagon but I remain cautious. They are still in the same division as the Packers but it looks like they may be a better contender than the Bears. Jay Cutler may not survive the season as often as he gets sacked and the same could be said about Matt Stafford from the Lions. If the wind picks up he could have a broken collarbone. If Stafford stays healthy, the percentages of that happening are low, the Lions could honestly be a playoff team. Their offense is explosive with Calvin "Megatron" Johnson and their defense with Ndamukong Suh in the middle has been decent. Against poor teams hence the caution. Fun fact, they are 10-0 dating back to last season. Including preseason that is. I don't expect them to win the division by any means. I think the two teams out of the NFC North are the real deal. The Packers have an MVP candidate, all around fantasy darling, Aaron Rodgers at QB. Defending champs have gotten a raw deal in years past but this is a team that won the Lombardi Trophy even while struggling through injuries to their best players. Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant to name a couple. While they may not have the same team they have all those injured players back. Making their offense one of the most dynamic in the league.
The Jets and Texans are facing some tough road games in Oakland and New Orleans. New York is traveling to the black hole to face a Raiders team who are trying to prove they are going to start to matter for the first time in years. Darren McFadden has been on a roll lately but going against the Jets defense could be a challenge. However out of these two teams it is the Raiders who have the most to prove. Everyone believes in the Jets already, Rex Ryan wouldn't have it any other way. The Raiders on the other hand are in a struggling division trying to become a contender. While Houston, a undefeated team who has beaten the hapless Colts and the awful Dolphins, are playing their first playoff caliber team in the Saints. It will be a battle of familiar teams, great offenses with developing defenses. I can't go against the Saints at home but it should be a close one. Expect a shootout. Even though Brees is without some of his weapons. He is one of those quarterbacks where injuries to key players don't seem to phase his numbers. He produces no matter who is out there.
Speaking of production no matter the talent on the field, how about those Redskins? Even they remain undefeated with Rex Grossman out there. Who knew Shanahan was right about Grossman over McNabb? Clearly not the Vikings. The Skins have a division showdown with the enormously hated Cowboys this week. One of the great rivalries in the league, it seems no matter the record of the squads they produce a good game. Deangelo Hall is focused on Romo's ribs and who can blame him? Who wouldn't go after an injury to a team's franchise quarterback? This game closes out the weekend on Monday night and I'm sure it would thrill no team more than the Cowboys to end the Skins late success. I have a feeling that this game is going to come down to the two defenses. Either quarterback could be a turnover machine. We have seen it from both in their careers. We have seen two different forms of Tony Romo in the opening games of the Boys season. He either chokes in the final minutes or comes back from a punctured lung to win a big game on the road. The question mark is Grossman. Can he go another game without a turnover against a division opponent? Only time will tell.
Who knows after this weekend which team will still be undefeated. Some games would be easier to pick than others. Good luck to all those undefeated teams this week, especially the Bills. You are going to need it.
It has been a long time since I have "bs'ed" on here. I have to say I missed it. I hope you did to. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I would love to hear how awesome you think I am, even if you think the blog sucks more than my fantasy teams.
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