ALL STARter

Okay so I have seen the latest All Star voting tallies and let me just say, I am starting to want to throw up. What I love/loved about being able to vote, at least in my youth, was that my favorite players actually stood a chance. Now unless your favorite player is on a big market team you are screwed. So being that I am not a BoSox, Yankee, Phillie, Cub, Cardinal or Ranger fan I probably won't have a starter in this years All Star game.

This is where all of you New York and Boston(or Milton, wherever that is) people give me crap about thinking an Oriole deserves to be in the starting lineup. I'm not pointing fingers but you guys are neck and neck as the biggest pains in the aforementioned body part when it comes to Baltimore fans. You ooze confidence because your teams do, or did, so well. However I believe there is one thing we can all agree on.

Adam Jones should start in the All Star game. Yeah I said it. Over Torii Hunter(maybe not), definitely over Josh Hamilton who is currently the projected starter (he has missed most of the year) and should completely make it over Ken Griffey Jr. (sorry Broseph but its not 1993). Don't even think about giving me that, "he deserves to go because of his career," crap. They did that with Cal Ripken Jr. and Tony Gwynn back in 1998 when they were honorary All Stars. Gwynn was hurt, Ripken was elected (for some reason, oh wait because he owns baseball's soul). So do that for Griffey since this is probably his last year. The only person you could make an argument for is Hunter who is doing better in almost every offensive category compared to Jones. Honestly I have no beef with Hunter, Jones is just not getting the love he rightfully deserves from fans. That is what kills me.

Yes I know lately he has been in a slump(still hitting over .300) but before this he was hitting to all fields and producing in one of the top lineups in baseball. Jones' RBI production by month is as follows 18 in April, 18 in May and only 7 in June (so far). He did have the game winning hit on Sunday to beat/sweep the Phils so at least he still hits in the clutch. However when he was producing Jones was barely in the discussion of All Stars.

My biggest issue is how the fans vote on previous performance. Hamilton hasn't played since May 31st and even when he was playing he wasn't his normal self. He is hitting .240 with 6 homeruns, Jones had 7 homeruns IN THE MONTH OF MAY! Hamilton is only in the top for his stellar performance in last years Homerun Derby. The Rangers outfielder that deserves to go is Nelson Cruz(.264 avg, 18 homers, 45 RBIs) but only Rangers fans are probably voting for the guy. I digress, the nation didn't give Jones respect until he was called a "5 tool player" in Sports Illustrated in May.

It was at this point that people got to know the greatness of Jones. "I haven't been this excited about an outfielder since Jeffrey Hammonds," says Antoine Pollard. Okay maybe I'm paraphrasing there, perhaps a better quote would be, "Jones is the best player on our team, he should bat third. Right ahead of Wieters." Yeah that sounds right. Jones is like Torii Hunter in the aspect of his great defense. Fans can almost see any of his plays weekly on Sportscenter. Hitting the ball into the gap at Camden Yards is not a hit with Jones out there. He'll lay out, rob you, blow a bubble and steal your girl all in one motion. Considering his fabulous arm strength, he has clearance to carry a weapon on planes (because he has a cannon for an arm...get it), anyone trying to stretch a single into a double is prey.

While Jones may not be impressing right now he is still better then any other Oriole who could be an All Star. Markakis doesn't have double digit homers which is a prerequisite to beat out other right fielders(like Cruz), Brian Roberts doesn't deserve to go over Ian Kinsler, Robinson Cano or Dustin Pedroia(who still can't hit an inside fastball). Kinsler deserves that spot over the other two mentioned. The main reason this comes about is because, due to his position on the team last year, George Sherrill("The Brim Reaper" or "Duckbill" as he has been called) could be an All Star. He is 11 for his last 11 and has been very hot in June (8 appearances, 5 saves, opp batting avg of .188, ERA 1.12). While I think Jones will be on the team (because unlike Francona I think Joe Maddon might take players from OTHER teams...stupid Red Sox) it just bugs me that he isn't higher in the votes. Maybe if he had a nickname...let's work on that.

So go vote for Jones! Markakis! Scott! Youkilis(because who wants Tex to start over him...that traitor). Click below to vote http://mlb.com/mlb/events/all_star/y2009/ballot_reg.html

Brady Bunch VS. Manning the Marketing Genius

VS

While I do know that it is June I am just TOO excited for the upcoming football season. Fantasy football is like cocaine although I do draw the line at some of the things I would do for it. One thing I tend to shy away from is drafting a QB too soon which is why these two players need to be discussed.

For the past few years I can't remember Peyton Manning not being off the board by the beginning of the 2nd round. Our first 2 years Manning was in the top 5 in the draft. Last year Tom Brady took that role (rightfully so, I mean 50 TD passes, hello...McFly!). Unfortunately for the poor folks who drafted him, his season was over before you could say dynasty.

So to help build your own dynasty(or not) I'm going to break it down for you with your concerns

MARKETING MASTERY

Now I know this has nothing to do with their performance on the field....well maybe a little. If we were basing this on TV shows they have been on, Brady would clearly win for obvious reasons (duh Simpsons AND Family Guy). Brady is the spokesman for Stetson as well as getting it from Gisele, giggidy, but Manning is the spokesman for...let me think...oh yeah everything else. Who else can gloat about their laser, rocket arm with a 70's porn 'stache?

ADVANTAGE: Manning

INJURY

Manning's knee injury was far less severe(arthroscopic surgery prior to the season) then Brady's season ending injury on the first series in week 1. Manning didn't perform like his normal self until well into the season but by then you probably had a more viable option and sat him stupidly when he actually started to produce. Maybe you didn't but moving on, both have recovered, Brady claims to be stronger then ever and seems to look fine in OTA's. Honestly you can never be too sure of any player until you see them in actual games running away from lightning quick defensive ends (oh its the SUGGERNAUT). The only real advantage here is that Brady had almost an entire season to heal while Manning was playing through the pain last year.

ADVANTAGE: Brady

COACHING CHANGES

This argument is easy considering a future hall of fame coach and most of his supporting cast has left Indy. The only change in New England is Josh McDaniels. Haven't they lost an offensive coordinator before? I would be more concerned if I were a Broncos fan. Brady also hasn't come out in the off season to cry about all the coaching changes. Manning has comeback with other quotes about his initial over reaction. However as the leader of his team the fact that he was freaking out says a lot about what the team will do.

ADVANTAGE: Brady

SCHEDULE

So AFC East VS AFC South, you have to give it to the South. While all the AFC East teams are probably going to be competitive you just can't be sure about the Jets or the Bills. Yeah they signed T.O. but that may not result in a winning season(even though they will have their popcorn ready). The Jets have a huge question mark at QB but either way it doesn't scream winning season. Although with Rex Ryan at the helm you know they are going to be a smash mouth football team so anything could happen. The South division only had one poor team that shocked everyone since it wasn't the Texans. What the Jags lacked was a decent offensive line mostly due to injury and a tragic off field shooting. I predict a repeat of last season within the East resulting in a battle between the Patriots and the Dolphins. The Bills have too much to prove and I think the Jets are a year away from being really competitive. I mocked the Texans before but they showed a lot last season finishing the season winning 5 out of their last 6. They had two impressive wins (vs Titans, @ Green Bay) so they didn't just beat cupcakes (speaking of which they lost to Oakland in the black hole). I predict that the division will be between the Titans and Colts with the Texans not too far behind. The real wild card is the Jaguars. You never know which team will show up but if they do it should make for an interesting division race. Nothing fuels a players fire like one of those and considering that 3 out of the four teams in that division are more known for the offense you can see where the advantage lies. Houston's D is starting to turn around but are still young, Colts are hit(with Bob Sanders) or miss(w/o Sanders), Jags defense is aging/got completely abused last season and then there is the Titans who were one of the top D's last season. Hmmm, let me think.

ADVANTAGE: Manning

SUPPORTING CAST

This one is going to decide it. Look at what the Patriots have done on the offensive side of the ball. They went out and got a work horse in Fred Taylor to pick up the slack in the backfield which with the oxymoron of a healthy Laurence Maroney who knows what will happen. Also they picked up Joey Galloway who always finds a way to produce and you have the best WR triplets in the NFL. Well outside of Arizona as long as they keep Boldin. So the Pats sound like the offense isn't going to be an issue. The D is where there are issues, however that doesn't concern Brady so who cares. On the flip side of this is Manning who loses a future hall of famer in Marvin Harrison. No real key free agent pickups at receiver so the team is hoping that Anthony Gonzalez pans out. Reggie Wayne and Dallas Clark are automatic however last season Wayne did have some drops that really hurt considering they were for touchdowns. I mean not Braylon Edwards but still, they hurt. The addition of Donald Brown will solidify a backfield that lost Dominic Rhodes in the off season. Joseph Addai had injury problems and could have one of those Brian Westbrook seasons where he is great until he's hurt and out for 3 weeks. Brown is still a rookie but I think given the opportunity he will be able to perform at a high level (what running back do you know that can't if he is a Colt lately). It is almost getting to be like Shanahan's Broncos. Where he could just poop a 1,000 yard rusher or pluck them off a tree like fresh fruit. If Brown can catch out of the backfield then who knows. So lets just go through and compare. Moss/Wayne (Moss), Welker/Gonzalez (Welker), Clark/Galloway (Clark), Addai/Taylor (Addai if healthy), Maroney/Brown (Maroney) and the O-line is clearly in favor of the Colts who only allowed an astonishing 14 sacks last season compared to 48 for the Pats. Then again Brady wasn't back there so who knows. The cards don't lie....lord 'ave mercy.

ADVANTAGE: Brady

So there you have it. Let the great debate begin. Of course if I were Tom Brady I would be able to say kiss the rings... Alas I am not. The preseason power rankings are available at ESPN.com. Of course the Steelers are favored but right on their heels is Brady and the Pats. "Until further notice, a team coached by Bill Belichick and quarterbacked by Tom Brady is a legitimate Super Bowl contender," says Tim Graham one of the voters for the rankings. So get ready folks, for some FOOTBALL!

Fantasy Player Hatas Ball

Welcome to my first annual Fantasy Player Hatas Ball. Where we hate hate hate hate hate! Is it too early to write about fantasy football? I say no however Brandon Waters says yes. On the weekends he stunt doubles for Little Richard in gay movies. Moving on, due to me sending out my league invites already I figure that it is finally time for some fantasy smack talk. So here are ten players(in no particular order) I will be avoiding like the plague.

Jay Cutler, QB Bitc....I mean Bears - I only rag him because well, he is a little girl if you threaten to trade him. Meaning you can't use him as trade bait because if no one bites he will demand a trade/underperform. That being said I would like to congratulate him on being traded to a team with one offensive weapon(unfortunately for Cutler its Matt Forte in the backfield) and their best WR has stone hands. If you are expecting similar numbers to last season you are insane UNLESS they sign Plaxic"OW MY LEG" Burress. Even then he would be a decent second option/last ditch effort if Derek Anderson is your only choice.

Braylon Edwards WR Browns - Okay I got this guy in the 2nd round last year and obviously completely regret it. It thrilled me when I was FINALLY able to cut him and replace him with Kevin Walters from the Texans. This guy had the potential for a fabulous season but, other then the Giant game, dropped all his points away. The fact that I am a Ravens fan probably adds to the hatred I have for him. So all those in my leagues by all means...draft him, you can TOTALLY have him.

Ladainian Tomlinson RB Chargers - While I love me some LT he just has been too injury prone lately. Tomlinson has carried this team for a lot of years and his body is starting to show that. Whatever campaign he wants to run to be in the first round of the draft is crazy. The Chargers wouldn't even do that, if they would have they wouldn't have franchised the pocket rocket Darren Sproles. The team belongs to Philip Rivers now and rightfully so after his pro bowl snubbing season a year ago. I am not saying he has no value, I am just saying he doesn't deserve to go early.

Chad Ochocinco WR Bengals - On any other team I would think he might have a decent season. Palmer will get him the ball if the line allows him to but their lack of a running game (their primary option is Cedric Benson) will have its effect on Chad. Will he burn the Ravens in Cincy this year? Probably, but I will take my chances with a solid number one like...oh I dunno...Houschmazoud, CHAMPIONSHIP

I am not slacking people, I can spell the name(and Google it to make sure) TJ Houschmandzadeh...CHAMPIONSHIP(if you are clueless then check this out http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vs1N5NYyb24)

Willis McGahee RB Ravens - Even your head coach hates yo guts, in fact I don't even know you and I hate yo guts. Ray Rice is "looking like he could be an every down back," says Harbaugh and Le'Ron McClain, not only makes me want to use thousands of Die Hard references, but is automatic inside the 5. Should one of these guys get hurt he could be a decent option but he has to impress John Harbaugh throughout OTA's, training camp and preseason while not getting hurt. Good luck.

Willie Parker RB Steelers - Okay before you say I am biased to hate on a Steeler consider this, Parker has had a serious injury the past two seasons resulting in a lot of missed time (just ask Michelle). Even when Parker is playing he isn't really sniffing the end zone a whole lot. Unless you are in a league that highly benefits yardage then he isn't going to score you a whole bunch of points. Parker would be an okay pick up in the later rounds however most people(Michelle) will probably snag him early stupidly.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers Defense - This one is obvious, however I hate the fact that Derrick Brooks is gone and one of the most potent Ds a year ago is going to be pretty awful this year. There is a youth movement and their offense is relying on Byron Leftwich which just means the D will be on the field more. Well at least they have young legs to run all day.

Eli Manning QB Giants - Consider that Burress, Ward and Toomer are gone. Now consider whats left. He's Old Mother Hubbard and only rookies are in the cupboard. If Hixon learns to catch then maybe they have a chance. At least he still has Kevin Boss and Brandon Jacobs. He is the wrong Manning to have on your team, even Peyton couldn't save the Giants.

Brett Favre QB Old Timers NFL - Okay if me burning him before wasn't bad enough I will continue my Favre hatred. If you had him two years ago, good for you. If you were still playing him after week 12 last year, you lost your league and blame Brett Favre for ruining your fantasy life. Before your drafts occur you will know whether or not he will return and if he does do not expect a great season. His arm is sore, he's old and he only has one good weapon. Berrian is great for a deep ball saying he goes to the Vikings but he was either shutout or scored very low most weeks last season. So its all or nothing with anyone on the Vikings not named Adrian Peterson.

Antonio Bryant WR Buccaneers - Bryant edges out the Bills receivers who will want every pass thrown their way. T.O. and Lee Evans will probably still have a decent year, pick your poison though. Now, back to Bryant. Until they have a solid understanding of who their starting QB is then I don't see him having a fabulous season. Byron Leftwich will probably be the starter unless Josh Freeman amazes people in training camp. Consider Leftwich's previous experience with talented wideouts, only Jimmy Smith had okay numbers. They were nothing to drool over.

So consider yourselves hated upon. Take a chance if you want on them but don't come crying to me when they fail. However I am almost positive that if I'm wrong someone will have something to say. Now if you will excuse me I have to go put some water in Antoine's momma's dish, good evenin'.

Special thanks for some quotes from Chappelle's Show. I can't come up with all this genius alone.

College or Not to College?

That is the question. Should a star prep athlete skip college and go straight to the NBA? The question has to be raised due to a recent quote by the Orlando Magic's star center Dwight Howard.

"I don't think college would have helped me," said Howard in an interview earlier today.

Okay so let's think about this for a second. Can he jump out of the gym every night? Yes. Can he win the dunk contest every year if he wanted to? Yes. Can he block shots into the fifth row? Yes. Do I have a better jumper then him? Yes. Can he do anything other then dunk? Not really.

Even Kareem Abdul-Jabbar felt the need to point out how raw Howard is discussing his lack of a "go to move" and his offense being "predictable." Howard responded when he acknowledged Abdul-Jabbar's classic hook shot which he said Abdul-Jabbar could "shoot from the three point line and I am still working on mine in the paint." You know where you could have worked on those skills Dwight? COLLEGE!

While in recent years the NBA has increased the age limit to 19 which requires most players to play at least one year of college, this seems to create scandal. Consider the recent discovery involving two recent one year players in Derrick Rose and O.J. Mayo. These scandals caused Tim Floyd at USC to resign and, luckily for him, John Calipari got out of Memphis before the investigation began. This has caused Coach K and while I hate his school I agree with some of what he has to say. He believes that the NBA needs to either increase the age so kids have to go to college for at least two years or just let them go straight from high school. Even if its raised to have two years of college, the best option in my opinion, who is to say that there still wouldn't be scandals?

Not me. I would prefer to go with the two year rule because for every star NBA-er who came out of high school there is Kwame Brown. No amount of good outweighs that. Kwame Brown's best stat is his amazing ability to be traded for Pau Gasol last season. Memphis, what a franchise. With the two year rule you could weed out the players who aren't ready yet and perhaps find those diamonds in the rough. I don't believe college = successful as I myself have a college degree and am unemployed. Perhaps if I had a jump shot...

I know what I say here will have no effect on the massive general public but Howard's probably will. I hope that more people realize how stupid what he said really is. I'm sure he would still have things to work on had he gone to college but I would guarantee he would have learned a few post up moves playing in a power conference in the NCAA. At least Kobe feels like he missed out on the college experience. How more upset would people be every time they compared him to Michael Jefferson Jordan had he gone to his school of choice in Duke? I think the city of Chapel Hill would explode at the near mention of it.

Now I am not saying that Howard is talentless, I actually respect the guy and see him as a possible second coming to Shaq. I mean he has already surpassed him in free throw shooting ability but that is not saying much. Howard needs to improve in a lot of areas but the guy is only 24 so I will give him a break. Think about it though, when was the last time you saw a center dominate the way Howard did against the Cavs? Once he has all the tools necessary to be a dominant presence offensively who is going to be able to contain him? He will have to change his name to the Juggernaut since he would be an unstoppable force. I don't think college would have made him this beast but it would have helped.

David Stern and his group of flunkies are currently privately discussing the age limit. Personally I like to publicly discuss things so let me hear your thoughts people. If you agree with what I am saying then let me know (I am really insecure). I want to know your thoughts readers so let me hear them.

Not This Again

What in the world did we do to deserve this crap yet again? Really Brett if I have to wait an entire summer just to watch you have a subpar season in which you still make the Pro Bowl by the simple fact that you are Brett "I am a Football God" Favre I may have to kill someone.

For awhile a family member who shall remain nameless and I were planning to off you. That was when you were in your prime and we were 49ers fans. PS... Joe Montana is still better then you. Hell at some point this season (if you do come back) Tarvaris Jackson will be better then you. Now I'm a proud Ravens fan and still hate your guts. I am happy to say that I never liked you and always prayed that someday you would get deathly ill.

Unfortunately you just won't go away. You played like it wasn't the end of your career for about half a season last year. Then my grandmother outperformed you, I mean at least she won something related to football. So in the wake of what will probably be yet another stupid comeback I have a few predictions as to what will happen this season in a segment I'm going to call...

FAVRE PREDICTIONS!

I know real creative right. Moving right along. These are all of my predictions just in case Favre comes back.

THE DEADLINE

Let's face it, that is the most pointless thing ever. Has anyone heard about the "end of the week" deadline?Favre probably won't make up his mind until near July and if he does Brad Childress will do a back flip to have him start this season.

Favre, for those who don't read the good book of ESPN, has already screwed the pooch on the first deadline. Who knows when both sides will reconsider, like sands in the hour glass...

PRESEASON

Favre won't play a series until the second or third game. Who needs practice to throw to the opposing team anyway?

REGULAR SEASON

For the first couple of games Favre will be fine. I can only guarantee that he will out TD his INTs in two games all season. He will probably play 10 games this season until the Bears completely pull away or he just completely sucks it up like last year. TD to InT ratio 15-20. Its not like the teams in the division have terrible D's so he is pretty much screwed.

FANTASYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If you are desperate I would pick him up however there are not two proven weapons in the passing game. Adrian Peterson will still own out of the back field, Berrian is definetly a deep threat but Percy Harvin is still a rookie. I will pull a Denny Green, meaning I will crown him as such. There will be a few games where Favre would be a viable option. Both games against the Packers (he will have at least 3 TDs each game), the Lions because well they are awful and at the Bears. The problem I have with this whole thing, that not a lot of people are talking about, is how much Brett Favre sucks indoors. So the "friendly confines" of being at home aren't going to be so friendly unless owner Zygi Wilf has a snow machine installed.

All that being said I hope that this soap opera ends soon. The tale of "The Old and the Undecided" is really annoying. Comeback, don't comeback, whatever. Will it be the Vikings? 49ers? Michael Vick's entourage? Again, I don't really care. Just do it soon so it's not all over ESPN for the next month and a half. Just so we are clear though, I still hate your guts Brett and I wish you spent this season fly fishing with your kids.

Will the Big Unit be the last 300 game Winner?

THIS IS SPARTA! Well maybe its not but Randy Johnson could be one of the last to complete this task before it is kicked into a bottomless pit to be forgotten forever. Speaking of forgotten forever where is Chris Hoiles to spoil this moment for the Big Unit?


Fortunately for the unit Hoiles is a manager in the independent league for the York Revolution, big sigh of relief, he doesn't have to face him. Honestly the "Natinals" should have signed him to a one night contract that (if the game actually gets played) he would bat fourth and own Randy like he used to in his hayday. In fact sign Hoiles up for the home run derby, go back in a time machine and grab Johnson in his prime and I would put up even money that he could at least get to the championship round.


Oh wait I'm sorry, got a little sidetracked there. Back to the story at hand, should the game be played tonight(its been postponed to Thursday at 4:35) and Johnson was able to do what Tim Lincecum couldn't, he would be the 24th player to reach 300 wins. A question has been all over ESPN and the web today as people ponder whether he would be the last one. We have all been told as children to never say never but most sound like Chris Rock when they adamantly state "never."

Tim Kurkjian of ESPN believes that CC Sabathia has an outside chance at 300 due to his youth and his overall numbers. Sabathia turns 29 on July 21st and right now has 122 wins. Meaning he would need 18 wins per season his next 10 seasons and he is in there. Not a simple task considering this is a man who has only met this task once. Probably why Kurkjian was quoted in his Sportscenter interview saying, "the next 300 game winner may not have started his career, he may not have even been born yet." This makes you think, who can honestly do it?

There are a lot of young arms out there, some a mere 10 minutes from my house at Camden Yards, but it is WAY too early (since none of them are Wieters) to predict Cooperstown. So what about some of the older veterans who are close to 300. Jamie Moyer is closest after Johnson with 250 but I don't think Moyer has 3 more seasons in him to get to the 300 mark. Andy Pettite is next on the list with 220 and at the ripe age of 37 you figure unless he is Phil Niekro(who played until 46) he probably won't get it. Pettite may have 5 more seasons in him, if he averages 16 wins per season he could prove me wrong. However it seems like he flirts with retirement after every season lately so asking for 5 more years might be asking a little much. Pedro Martinez is pointless to discuss, he is stuck at 214 and has no one willing to sign him. John Smoltz is next with 210 but unless he has 90 wins this season, if he ever plays, its not going to happen. The next guy ALL the way down the list at 184 is Tim Wakefield. As long as the knuckleball keeps dancing he could pitch until he's 80. I joke but lets get serious for a moment. As far as the older veterans go I would say the best chance is Pettite, as long as someone will pay him what he wants and he stays healthy I don't see a problem with him reaching that number.


What about or younger arms, well younger then those mentioned previously. Barry Zito...pff hahaha, who am I kidding? It has been 2 years since his last winning season so it is going to be hard enough for him to eclipse 200 wins (he is sitting at 124). Tim Hudson is sitting not too far from him at 146 but unfortunately he is currently on the 60 day DL, planning on missing most of this season after tommy john surgery on his pitching arm. Without that last part you might pick him as a sleeper. Out of all the names I am combing over on Wikipedia and all those I saw today on ESPN I have to agree with Woodrow Wilson Paige from Around the Horn and pick Roy Halladay. Honestly when your team is facing Halladay don't you just assume an L? I know I did last week when we faced him, luckily his bullpen blew it. While Halladay has had some injuries in years past he is the most consistent out of those left.


Halladay wouldn't be considered a "younger" arm but he's only 32 and is 160 wins away from 300. Currently he is 9-1 and has a very respectable 2.77 ERA. Halladay is also one of the few pitchers who you see throwing complete games in this modern era of relief pitching and pitch counts. He currently has two but in the previous two seasons he had a total of 16(9 in 2008 and 7 in 2007). So you have to assume he has the ability to throw more. This could be his best season since...last season when he went 20-11 with a 2.78 ERA and had a career high in K's. Clearly he is consistent, when you look at his stats since 2002 unless his year is shortened by injury he has easily had double digit wins. His highest total being 22 back in 2003. He could reach that mark this season with a surprisingly successful Blue Jays club that has one of the better offenses in baseball. If you get him 3 runs you are almost set up for victory. So when you honestly think about it and look at all the evidence Halladay seems to be an obvious choice.

Now history waits as Johnson takes the mound today. Will he be the last one? No one really knows. However I think everyone is entitled to an opinion. That being said... THIS IS BSing WITH BRANDAN SPIEGEL! I want to know your opinion. Halladay is my choice but one of you may honestly be stupid enough to choose Zito. I will kick you into the pit if that is so. So let me hear it readers, all 3 of you.

This One Takes Me Back

It was 1987, Mike Tyson was destroying people in the ring and ironically enough so were we. Many of us in our youth were after Tyson(or for some of us Mr. Dream) in the well known Dream Bout. Unfortunately some were stumped by Bald Bull and were stuck on him for 4 years(like Peter Griffin).

With the recent release of Punchout for the Wii console I feel like I am 7 again. Bald Bull is still difficult, he's no Great Tiger though believe me. Little Mac returns still 5'7" and barely tilting the scales over 100 lbs. Oddly enough he is still 17, some of us age better then others I suppose. Most of the characters you know and love to beat down are back(along with their intro music if you can believe it) such as Glass Joe, Von Kaiser, King Hippo, Piston Hondo (was Honda back in the day but I guess Nintendo didn't want to pay for the name), Great Tiger, Don Flamenco, Soda Popinski, Bald Bull, Super Macho Man and the vicious Mr. Sandman from the original NES version. Only two characters made it from the less popular Super Punchout from SNES and those are Bear Hugger and Aran Ryan. The game also introduces a new character in Disco Kid who is more infatuated with himself more then winning a fight. Every fight introduces the character with a short movie which are in most cases pretty comical. The game is definitely worth it to anyone who loved the original NES version of the game.

From the opening bout against Glass Joe(almost an exact replica of my buddy Joel but with red hair, he was dubbed Glass Joel by McIver) to the championship bout against Mr. Sandman I was hooked. The cool part is that before you take on a fighter you can practice against them to pick up the patterns of how they fight. Those of us who played the NES version will have no problem getting through the Minor Circuit unless we have forgotten Glass Joe, Von Kaiser and King Hippo's weaknesses. The throwback fighters seem to have most of the same weaknesses from the previous version however unlike before you can't just retire as the champ. You have to fight them all again. I hate to admit this but I lost to Glass Joe in the rematch the first time. It honestly made me feel like less of a man. That was until I crushed him in the next bout. I am currently working on getting through the title defense portion of the game and can't say I have tired of it. Definitely has replay ability which is awesome for a game nowadays.

What keeps you playing is attempting to complete the many challenges of each fighter that are unlocked once you defeat them in career mode. There are three challenges for each fighter that once completed unlock special audio in your gallery. Some challenges are easier then others (such as finding Glass Joe's one punch weak spot) while others pose high difficulty(attempting to find all of the spots to get a star for your super punch). They get even harder in the title defense portion of the game. If that doesn't encourage more game play then maybe another new feature to the Punchout series will, the new Head to Head mode.

Finally you can take out your aggression on your friends who beat you down in real boxing (yes this means you McIver). This mode doesn't differ too much in game play from the regular modes minus the fact that you are no longer Little Mac and you have the ability to mutate into GIGA MAC. Instead you become Little _your name here__ vs. Little _your opponent's name_. An example of how two player mode plays is below as I give my two year old a much deserved beat down. Caylie (my 2 year old) can beat Glass Joe and her mommy but not so much me. I in no way tolerate child abuse, except in this case.

I know its cold blooded what I did to her but eventually she will be able to destroy us all. If a 2 year old can play who can't? There are two different controller options which are classic (use your Wii remote exactly like you would the old NES controller) or use the remote with the nunchuk attached and throw punches. Another cool function is using the balance board. With this you can control dodging and ducking. I am a creature of habit so I will stick to classic that is familiar to my inner child.

Comparing Mike Tyson's Punchout to Super Punchout is like comparing apples to brussel sprouts. I played the original version of the game over and over again however the SNES version just wasn't the same. I guess I'm partial to my childhood favorite. However this new installment put me in a time machine and brought back rainy days in front of my Nintendo writing down the codes in case Super Macho Man or Mr. Sandman would beat me into a bloody mess. The truth is they STILL beat me down in this new version but I will keep coming back for more.

So I will keep some room in my Punchout time machine and I look forward to seeing some of you there. Unfortunately due to a lack in online capabilities in the game I can't challenge any of you. Oh well, at least I will always have King Hippo.