Not This Again

What in the world did we do to deserve this crap yet again? Really Brett if I have to wait an entire summer just to watch you have a subpar season in which you still make the Pro Bowl by the simple fact that you are Brett "I am a Football God" Favre I may have to kill someone.

For awhile a family member who shall remain nameless and I were planning to off you. That was when you were in your prime and we were 49ers fans. PS... Joe Montana is still better then you. Hell at some point this season (if you do come back) Tarvaris Jackson will be better then you. Now I'm a proud Ravens fan and still hate your guts. I am happy to say that I never liked you and always prayed that someday you would get deathly ill.

Unfortunately you just won't go away. You played like it wasn't the end of your career for about half a season last year. Then my grandmother outperformed you, I mean at least she won something related to football. So in the wake of what will probably be yet another stupid comeback I have a few predictions as to what will happen this season in a segment I'm going to call...

FAVRE PREDICTIONS!

I know real creative right. Moving right along. These are all of my predictions just in case Favre comes back.

THE DEADLINE

Let's face it, that is the most pointless thing ever. Has anyone heard about the "end of the week" deadline?Favre probably won't make up his mind until near July and if he does Brad Childress will do a back flip to have him start this season.

Favre, for those who don't read the good book of ESPN, has already screwed the pooch on the first deadline. Who knows when both sides will reconsider, like sands in the hour glass...

PRESEASON

Favre won't play a series until the second or third game. Who needs practice to throw to the opposing team anyway?

REGULAR SEASON

For the first couple of games Favre will be fine. I can only guarantee that he will out TD his INTs in two games all season. He will probably play 10 games this season until the Bears completely pull away or he just completely sucks it up like last year. TD to InT ratio 15-20. Its not like the teams in the division have terrible D's so he is pretty much screwed.

FANTASYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If you are desperate I would pick him up however there are not two proven weapons in the passing game. Adrian Peterson will still own out of the back field, Berrian is definetly a deep threat but Percy Harvin is still a rookie. I will pull a Denny Green, meaning I will crown him as such. There will be a few games where Favre would be a viable option. Both games against the Packers (he will have at least 3 TDs each game), the Lions because well they are awful and at the Bears. The problem I have with this whole thing, that not a lot of people are talking about, is how much Brett Favre sucks indoors. So the "friendly confines" of being at home aren't going to be so friendly unless owner Zygi Wilf has a snow machine installed.

All that being said I hope that this soap opera ends soon. The tale of "The Old and the Undecided" is really annoying. Comeback, don't comeback, whatever. Will it be the Vikings? 49ers? Michael Vick's entourage? Again, I don't really care. Just do it soon so it's not all over ESPN for the next month and a half. Just so we are clear though, I still hate your guts Brett and I wish you spent this season fly fishing with your kids.