Five Things I Hate About....the San Francisco 49ers

credit: NFL Memes

I know people. How can one man continue his hatred of other franchises when his team is in such disarray. Well, it's pretty damn easy. Just keep the hate strong and maybe a win will come along to make it that much sweeter. Besides, we all need to laugh at this point. Sure, we made Josh McCown look like Joe Montana, the good news is that the last guy mentioned retired years ago. So when we head to San Fran we are playing another bad team.

So without further adieu, let's get this hate train rolling!

1)Colin Kaepernick...is a terrorist

Or is he Squidward, some midget in a Spiderman costume, Gonzo from the Muppets, a large nosed monkey? No one truly nose....errr I mean knows. Honestly just think of someone, anyone with a big nose and that is your guy. Your accountant? You betcha! Skeeter from Doug? Why the hell not?!? The guy has a ski slope for a nose and a dirt spot on his chin, pretty easy target bro. Might as well wear a dart board on your back.

credit: NFL Memes

2) Who's got it better than them....

Well currently not us, however Michigan seems to be better than them. Half the league seems to be better than both of us. How about we let that one die with Jim Harbaugh rolling out of town. This was just an annoying thing that they did that really just pissed me off. It's much worse than whodey, whodat, here we go....wait, nothing is more annoying than that damned Steeler song. Anyway...shut up niner fans.

3) For the last time, you LOST the damn Super Bowl in 2013

credit; sportsmemes.net

Okay, we know, calls were missed. You don't have to be so butthurt about it. Saying the game was fixed because of Ray Lewis (who maybe you should have exploited more cause he couldn't cover a damn thing in that game) is bogus. The game was fixed because your idiotic coach got too cute and gave up on the run when it was CLEARLY working late in the game. The game was fixed because of over a half hour delay when the Ravens were DESTROYING you which allowed your niners to get back in the game. The game was fixed because Jimmy Smith interfered with Crabtree, he held him. Well...that part even Smith admitted was true. However....run the damn ball. As a former fan of this team in my youth (when Montana was king) I understand your frustration but as a current fan of my hometown Ravens I've got two words for ya...

4) Your coach looks like a porn star

While I have to debate with myself if that is awesome or not, I gotta say that the amount of memes with him and Ron Jeremy are bugging the living hell out of me. I mean there really isn't much more to say about this other than show you these...

I know that last one is just Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force but that one is a classic. Total classic.

5) Jesus, we know 5 championships

Now there are a lot of memes with old ladies in them talking about the last living cheerleader when the niners won. While that was nearly 20 years ago (Young over the Chargers), the memes are just ridiculous. Mostly from Seahawks bandwagoners no doubt but I will save that for another hate article. Needless to say their last win was that one sided affair back in 1995 and they haven't won since. The Ravens and Niners were the only two teams to never have lost a Super Bowl in their franchises history. We all know how that turned out. I really think the arguments regarding titles needs to be if you were a fan (alive) at the time of said championship and if you want to debate me there, fine. Name me some people from the roster without your phone, google, internet, smoke signals, your best friends hand signals or whatever. Naming just Montana, Rice, Young or Clark will not get you bonus points. What's that? You got nothing, thought so...douche.

There you have it. I don't know how much longer I can keep may rage regarding my own team encased. I might have to let it loose sooner...rather than later. Until we hate again.