Five Things I Hate About...the San Diego Chargers

It's like we are looking for new ways to win. Would you look at that, here comes a team who was led by a derpy quarterback last season to steal a win. Now this season it wouldn't be stealing. It would still be theft of some kind but like only a misdemeanor. As I have stated many articles before, I can continue to drop hate bombs all over the place and I am especially pissed about the Ravens. So I think its time to look for the signal.

Thanks Maximus. Let's do this!

1) Philip Rivers Face

That is a face that only his mama could love. But man oh man, do I ever want to punch the hell out of that face. He makes some of the bitchiest, sarcastic, borderline mental faces on the sideline. You can literally google "Philip Rivers face" and get emotion selections on the photo page. Hopefully this ass clown is making a frowny face come the end of the game this week.

2) Philip Rivers voice

Rarely do I select one player for two different reasons to hate on someone but I purely hate his,"aw shucks," attitude. It's confusing. Did someone change the channel to a Dukes of Hazard rerun? Is Forrest Gump on? Am I watching Nascar? Are we in pit row? I just saw you crying like a little baby on the sideline but now you sound like you are about to sell me a used car covered in BBQ sauce. Like here is an example of an interview with Rivers.

"Well Philip what did you see out there today when you threw 2 interceptions in the fourth?'

"Well my mama always said that sharing was caring, now if you'll excuse me I gotta fix my bolo tie."

What the hell is the deal with that? I know you are a man of the south but not the DEEP south. You aren't an oil tycoon, fried chicken salesman, cowboy or my great grandfather. My great grandfather wore them, he was awesome. I'm going to need you to remove them from your wardrobe, IMMEDIATELY, as you are in fact...NOT AWESOME!

3) So many LTs

No, no there isn't. There is one and he loves young girls, cocaine and breaking Joe Theismann's leg on national television. Wu-Tang never rapped about you in one of their verses so you lose Ladainian. Perhaps there is still some rage over you TD vulturing a younger RB back when I decided against getting you in fantasy when you were nearly 100 years old in RB years. RB years, fun fact, equivalent to dog years. On a serious note, LT = Lawrence Taylor ONLY!

4) Antonio Gates please....just retire already

You are just killing every wide receivers value in fantasy. Your first week back you styled on everyone and you have made my late pick of Stevie Johnson look pretty stupid. It actually didn't look dumb until your large and in charge self came back from your PED suspension. Ya jerk. I should beat you up in a hot tub like Ruxin did in The League! The worst thing about him is his confusing fantasy output. You play him, 0-4 points. You sit him. 29 points. WTF?!?!?!?!?

5) The city was the centerpiece for one of the greatest comedies of a generation

You stay classy Ron Burgundy! If you don't know about Anchorman you're life hasn't been too much fun. Whammo! Anyway, the damn movie is so awesome, so quotable and so helps me getting this last thing in just so I can say that San Diego is German for a whale's vagina. Totally not Spanish, it's one of life's great mysteries. It's just not fair. I mean, I guess we did have Major League 2. Nope, not the same. DAMN YOU SAN DIEGO!

Well there you have it kiddos. We gonna win a home game? That would be great. I have had steeler fans elbow deep in my butt since we haven't won a home game yet. That sounded...gross. We should have won at least 1 home game by now. WHY CAN'T WE WIN?!? Until we hate again.

Playoff Picks - Part Deux

Do you know who went 4-0 on his picks last week? No, not Chris Berman. Not Mike Ditka. Certainly not Bill Cowher. It was this guy. Little old Brandan Spiegel. The scores may have been wrong but who could see the Ravens destruction of the Pats (Welker would not have saved Brady folks, he wouldn't have been blocking Suggs or Ray Lewis). Who could have seen that epic game in Arizona? No one, however I did pick the Cards so at least I have that.



So with the Wild Card round in the books that leaves the divisional round where we will see two teams who haven't won in nearly a month (Colts and Saints). Included in the madness will be two of the highest powered offenses in the NFL this year leading to the Cards being in yet another shootout. Unlike last week, only one match up is a rematch of a regular season game. Before I get into my analysis early let's jump into the games (which are in order of when they will be televised).





Arizona Cardinals VS New Orleans Saints





Anyone who thought that Green Bay and Arizona put on an offensive display needs to tune in to this one. I don't know if 96 points and over 1,000 yards of offense will be eclipsed but this one should be a shootout. Especially considering that both defenses are questionable when it comes to pass defense. New Orleans really lacks a pass rusher to upset Warner in the pocket and they really could use one. Warner is coming off a game where he had more touchdowns, 5, then incompletions, 4. Drew Brees is utterly ridiculous and could easily match Warner throw for throw. However the problem I have with the Saints is that they haven't won a game in a month, twice when their starters were out there. The Cowboys made them look vulnerable and the Buccaneers proved anyone could beat them at home. While I know that Boldin is probably still going to sit this one out, does it matter? Look at what Doucet and Breaston did last week. Not to mention the awesome TD celebration by Breaston (the Razor Ramon dance,http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN5CiElINSs kind of hard to see but just awesome).



Prediction: Fans of shootouts tune in! This one is going to be a back and forth game where you don't want to miss anything. Warner and Brees are the NFC's version of a Brady and Manning match up in the AFC. Meaning, as fans, this is a match up of possible hall of fame candidates. Each defense can be abused via the pass but its New Orleans run defense that is the issue. People forget how good the running game of the Cardinals actually is. Beanie Wells had 92 yards on 16 carries this past Sunday. That was against a highly ranked defense. Who knows what he will do against the Saints. Will the Superdome be exploding with excitement? Yes. Will the Saints put up a fight? Definetly. Will the Saints win? I'm not so sure. If it is a close game then the edge goes to the Saints because Neil Rackers has not been himself this season. We all know what the Cardinals did last year. They had a close game at home and then the blew out the number one seed. It could happen again. Cardinals win 35-14





Baltimore Ravens VS Indianapolis Colts



This is the only rematch from the regular season. The game in Baltimore was close but unfortunately the Ravens offense could never get going. Flacco turned the ball over in the red zone and Ed Reed tried to lateral a ball on an excellent return which resulted in a fumble recovered by the Colts. Needless to say, the Ravens gave the game to the Colts. The defense of the Ravens is always great at home but until last week against New England, hadn't impressed anyone on the road. Causing 4 turnovers tends to impress people. Can they play "giant killer" once again? Against the Colts they caused 3 turnovers and only gave up one big play to Garcon. If they do that, who knows what could happen.



Prediction: I will pretend to know what is going to happen. Peyton is well rested and honestly so is Joe Flacco. In their last game they played, each QB wasn't used to his full capacity. Ravens fans love themselves some Joe Flacco, they think he is the second coming(of who I have no idea, Testaverde?). When you look at the numbers for Flacco closely you notice he started hot, like the Ravens, but kinda trailed off throughout the season. His last great game was against the Bears when he threw 4 TDs. Currently, Flacco hasn't thrown a TD in his last two games. Not to mention that Heap was hobbling off the field last week which makes me a little nervous. Clayton making that stellar 17 yard grab does make me feel better for the future, as long as he keeps making plays. Sure, Ray Rice is going to run the ball. Willis McGahee (http://ravens.fandome.com/video/107758/Willis-McGahees-77-Yard-Saturday-Night-TD-Scamper/you got to be kiddin' me! click the link if you are totally clueless) will to. Hey, LeRon McClain might get a carry or two. Flacco is going to have to keep us in the game because we all know that Manning is going to hit at least one bomb to his play makers whether it be Clark, Wayne or Garcon. For the Ravens to win the Colts bombs have to miss their targets, control the clock to keep the ball out of Manning's hands and play lock down defense like last week. If the same team arrives in Indy that left New England, the Colts don't stand a chance. Ravens win 21-17





Dallas Cowboys VS Minnesota Vikings


Brett Favre has never beaten the Cowboys in the playoffs. Let's just say he never beat Troy Aikman in the playoffs. Considering he lost to them three years straight (93-95) when they were Super Bowl contenders. So that stat is a little misleading. Add to the fact that those games were all in Dallas back in the days when home field advantage mattered. Then you see my point. The modern era Cowboys are coming off their first playoff win since '96, a complete demolition of the Eagles, and are currently on a four game winning streak. This is one team even TE Visanthe Shiancoe told Dan Patrick that he didn't want to face. They are the hottest team in the NFC right now and have a lot of people talking about an upset. They have a strong defense and Demarcus Ware is playing out of his mind. On the offensive side of the ball, Romo to Austin seems to be working out a whole lot better then Romo to T.O. Romo isn't turning the ball over and is matriculating the ball down the field with ease lately. The thing that hasn't been proven by these Cowboys is that they haven't played a team with a top caliber running game during their 4 game tear. The Vikes have this guy named Adrian Peterson, I hear he is pretty good. The Boys secondary isn't overly impressive but if they get pressure on Favre he could make a lot of mistakes.


Prediction: Make no mistake about this one either, it is going to be great. In all honesty, the NFC games look better then the AFC. Both games could be close. Personally I don't want either team to win, as a former Niners fan I don't like Favre(read previous posts if you don't believe me) or the Cowboys. Since someone has to win I should probably analyze it a little bit. A lot of what Dallas can do in the passing game depends on whether Antoine Winfield is healthy or not. If he is it makes their secondary substantially better. I don't know who the Vikes played two weeks ago, it wasn't the Giants(they were on vacation clearly). They looked sharp in the game but they were playing a team with a draft pick to play for. Romo idolizes Favre and this will be their first ever meeting in the postseason. I don't know of the old man has any new tricks he can show his young protege. I do know that I would take Peterson over any of the backs in Dallas. He will have more rushing yards then the three headed monster (Felix Jones, Marion Barber III and Tashard Choice). Ray Rice proved that a good back can run all over this defense. I don't think any of these backs will do that against a charged Vikings squad. As far as the Vikings offense, short dip and dunk passes will work if Favre is being pressured considering the playmakers he has with Percy Harvin and Sidney Rice. Visanthe Shiancoe isn't bad in short yardage situations either. He is going to be a monster in the red zone for the Vikes. If you are doing fantasy during the playoffs, here is a sleeper for you. Scoop him up, I'm guessing he will have at least 1 TD. That is, if it isn't the Adrian Peterson show. If the game is close and it comes down to a field goal (a la the Ravens/Vikings game earlier in the season) give the edge to the Vikes. As the Cowboys are relying on someone who has cut by the Redskins. Yeah, those Redskins. Vikings win 31-24


New York Jets VS San Diego Chargers


Sorry Rex, your troops are not the Super Bowl favorite right now. Actually, most experts have the Chargers in the Super Bowl to represent the AFC. So why should I even analyze the game? I mean, game over man! Right? No, unfortunately its not that easy. I told you all the stats last week about the Jets, being the best NFL team this season in defense and running the ball. Then they went out and proved it against the Bengals. What surprised me was the Sanch-ise (Mark Sanchez) completing 80% of his passes and not turning the ball over. Oh yeah, he threw a TD as well. The Chargers, on the other hand, favor the pass. I don't think Vincent Jackson will be a factor this week since he will be visiting Revis Island. Darrelle Revis will shut him down. That isn't analysis as much as it is a known fact. What about LT, the electric glider himself? Will he be just as awful as his Nike viral video? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-owX-EAib8s)


Prediction: My thoughts are no he won't. If Cedric Benson can abuse this defense then so can LT. Rivers is the hottest QB in the league right now and will let everyone know it on Sunday afternoon. Will Revis pick him off? Possibly. It's not like for every Vincent Jackson there isn't another play maker out there. Can any of the Jets linebackers really cover Antonio Gates, LT or Darren Sproles? I don't think so. What about Malcolm Floyd, he has been massively improving throughout the season. During Rivers' off week in week 17 Floyd really shined. There are stellar players everywhere on the offensive side of the ball even though they have been dealing with injuries on their line and their defensive line. The defense throughout the season wasn't stellar. They were in the middle of the pack in most categories and were closer to the bottom of the league in rush defense. As we saw last week in Arizona, regular season stats don't matter. The Packers were second in the league in defense. We all know what happened there! The Jets are going to put up a fight, Rex Ryan won't let them quit. These Chargers are just too much to handle and I don't think Sanchez can string together two great performances in a row(he never did it during the regular season). Who does he think he is? Joe Flacco?!? Chargers win 35-21


I don't know how I will feel if I go perfect two weeks in a row. I may just have to call ESPN and tell them to hook me up. So spread the word readers about the king of all pick ems. Now if I go 0-4, disregard anything I have said. Honestly, I'm just BS-ing with you guys anyway. If you want to challenge me this week let me know your picks in the comment section. That is, if you got the guts!

Ray Lewis' Greatest Play of His Career?

Here, as a friend I owe this to you all..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0oUPACk8K8&feature=fvw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0oUPACk8K8&feature=fvw#watch-main-area

http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d812ca5d9/NFL-GameDay-Ravens-vs-Chargers-highlights

You're welcome. That last video should refresh your memory of Ray Lewis' "greatest play" of his career. Personally I am not a fan of hearing that term from a player or anyone related to football. I mean most recently John Madden was heard calling the "greatest Super Bowl" ever played, obviously two months later he is out. Favre does this every offseason. Two years ago it was his "greatest season," and he was one game away from the Super Bowl. Indecisiveness, patience, mixed signals, comeback demanding for trade, and got traded. Then last season it was the "greatest meltdown" ever of Favre's career. More of the same ensues. I digress, this isn't a story about an old man who can't decide what new fangled TV to get(sorry older folks), this is about Ray Lewis.

Not that I think this is going to be Lewis' last season, so I hope. Somehow if it happens I know my friends will blame me for it (sorry guys). But, Antoine, I can guarantee your argument will be irrelevant. Just makes me a little nervous, that's all.

Also I just don't enjoy this term being thrown around so lightly. Whether its best all around player, play, pass, run, linebacker, third baseman, shortstop, quarterback, running back, shooting guar(almost had me, uh Jordan!), those of you who know me know that 999,999 times out of 1,000,000 I can't just name one player. I will say that Ray Lewis is one of the greatest linebackers of this generation (honestly that is how you have to break it down). So if you don't like to hear/read someone wax poetic about Ray Lewis or the Ravens, turn away from the screen or just head to the comments section where you the mocking can commence.

Now for the rest of you let's just think about this for a second. I mean, that MVP moment was pretty awesome. Yeah you remember, when he owned the Giants in Baltimore's Super Bowl XXXV victory. Or when he owned Hall from the Titans last year? Him obliterating Kellen Winslow, Braylon Edwards and Eddie George (completely taking away his manhood, changed his career FOREVER!)? Well the answer should be yes since some of those hits were in the videos above. There are millions of Ray Lewis "hit lists" and one collaboration with Ed Reed as well.

Now the term future Hall of Famer has been thrown at Ray Lewis, it sticks. Is he one of the greatest middle linebackers in history? Definitely. Was he the base of this defense since he came here in the inaugural season? Oh yeah. Has he assisted several defensive staff members in getting head coaching nods (Marvin Lewis, Mike Nolan, Jack Del Rio and Rex Ryan)? Just answered my own question there huh. Wasn't the BBQ at Full Moon Barbecue (his old restaurant) decent, especially the BBQ meat filled potatoes? I'm drooling right now thinking about it. Have I lost you completely on the constant questioning of Ray Lewis' awesomeness? I sure hope not. Ray Lewis is the player/coach/motivational speaker for the team. So when you hear greatest stop ever (it was awesome I'm not going to lie, in fact my reaction was to leap from the couch with an, "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh YEAH!") you really have to think about a lot of punishment that this man has delivered in his past 14 seasons.

I can't even call it the greatest Ravens hit ever. That sack Bart Scott put on Roethlisberger a couple years ago is just tops for me. This so far (yeah I know week 2 but bare with me) is the play of the season. A tough win on the other coast has a lot of folks paying attention to us when they wanted to say we couldn't repeat and get into the playoffs. This win has made people second guess that decision. Probably about as much as Norv Turner is second guessing that run up the middle today.