1) Their fans act like beating us 4 out of 5 equates to a Super Bowl
Look here asshat. I don't know if you know but you can beat our team twice and we can still make the playoffs. In case you're STILL confused, we are going further than you. Dalton chokes in the clutch of the postseason and you know it. You're bad and you should feel bad. Also....shut up! Boom, nailed it!
2) Andy Dalton truly frustrates my soul
Seriously, I don't understand how this mediocre, poor excuse of a QB has helped his team win the last 4 out of 5 games against us. He literally has crap stats as I have pointed out in previous posts but in case you missed it (7 TDs, 12 INTs, reached 90 QBR twice in his career). Yet he wins. I mean, it helps to have AJ Green catching your lame duck passes you silly soulless ginger but would you mind losing the game after we take the lead with little time left in the game. I mean, just pretend it's against any team on the planet and it's January.
3) Carson Palmer's knee injury did not equal a Super Bowl loss
Look, I was cheering FOR you at this time. Mostly because Kyle Boller was terrible. Your team was great, but that game against the Steelers was going to be tough either way. That offense in 2005 was insane. However, if I hear one more stupid Bengal fan gripe about that crap when I talk about their playoff woes I'm going to chop them in the throat. That team wasn't going to be a dynasty off of one damn pass. So let's go over this one, last, time...It wasn't intentional, Chris Henry unfortunately died, Marvin Lewis shouldn't still be coaching this team and you suck as a human being. Thanks again. In case you forgot...
4) I truly miss when they were lovable losers
In all honesty I miss you being terrible. Do I enjoy being in what most consider the best division in football? Yes. Where is Akili Smith, Kijana Carter(and his terrible knees) and all the other busts you had UNTIL you got Chad Johnson. All your recent success against us has turned some of you into what you hate most. Steeler fans. That's what you are when you start all your stupid trash talk Bengal fan. Unfortunately for you, you don't have 6 titles to fall back on. Cough cough zero titles cough cough.
5) Their colors are black and orange
I mean, call me crazy, but isn't another team in the division wearing similar colors? They still stink. Either join them in their terribleness or change your damn colors. NO I'M NOT SUPPORTING YOUR TEAM, I'M WEARING A DAMN ORIOLES SHIRT YOU A-HOLE! I'M SORRY THAT THE NAME "TIGERS" WAS TAKEN BY AN MLB TEAM SO YOU HAVE TO CALL YOURSELF THE BENGALS AND USE BLACK AND ORANGE INSTEAD OF BLUE AND ORANGE. JESUS, COME UP WITH AN ORIGINAL FREAKING THOUGHT! What, ran out of animals? Thought Cheetahs or Hyenas sounded terrible? I mean your city's MLB team is the Reds, you could have just been a color....wait nevermind. Back to square one. How about I just continue to hate you and your face and we move on.
So there you go. Stands out like Andy Dalton at a WuTang concert. Now, if there is such thing as a "must win" in week 3, this is it. No team has started 0-3 since 1999 and made the playoffs. I don't want to test that theory especially going into Thursday night's game in Pittsburgh. Let's go boys, get this W so I can humble brag....otherwise known as brag...towards the Bengals fans at work.
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