BOO! Time for the Halloween edition of the power rankings. Unlike Kings Island of Ohio, no recently dead NFL stars will be appearing in my blog (instead if you want to read what I am talking about click this http://deadspin.com/5366449/steve-mcnair-murder-scene-an-ill+advised-halloween-display). Pretty sad when you think about it. Kind of like Vikings fans after their first loss, or anyone in the Lions vs. Rams market this weekend. So to stick with the theme of Halloween, ratings will be Trick or Treat with a possible monster, villain or horror movie mention. I mean come on, it's Halloween week folks, what do you expect me to do?1. New Orleans Saints (1, 6-0)
Even when it looks like they are going to lose they win. It is insane. They wouldn't be number one if they weren't the greatest. No they can't be Ali but they could be whoever they want. I bet wherever they go for trick or treating, they would get truck loads of candy. Big game against the Falcons this week. Who will laugh last, mwahahahahahaha!
2. Indianapolis Colts (2, 6-0)
I can't move them up for dismantling the Rams. I mean who hasn't done that. Although Peyton Manning didn't throw for 300+ yards, epic FAIL! Stomp city though, this team is full of treats.
3. Denver Broncos (4, 6-0)
What a difference a bye makes. Heading to Baltimore for a tough road game in a hostile place, then again they did just play in San Diego. Hasta La Vista winning streak?
4. New England Patriots (7, 5-2)
They are just flat out embarrassing teams now. When they face a decent team and do this maybe I will be a little more impressed. Clearly the offense is clicking though. Bill Belichick would make a pretty sweet Darth Vader though wouldn't he? If you don't join the dark side, I will find someone who costs less money who will! Quote Darth Belichick on that one! Obi Wan Ki-Rex Ryan, you're our only hope!
5. Minnesota Vikings (3, 6-1)
Considering they weren't even favored to win the game how could I drop them more then this? Favre faced pressure and two turnovers cost them 14 points the other way. Without those it would have been a totally different game and who knows? Maybe a new number 1? Alas, no they lost in Pittsburgh.
6. Cincinnati Bengals (7, 5-2)
They destroyed the Bears. Palmer threw 5 times, 5 times, 5 times, 5 times, 5 times for touchdowns. So yes, you guessed it, Booker T is who he will be this Halloween. Must be nice to have this week off. No parties with Matt Leinart though Carson!
7. Pittsburgh Steelers (9, 5-2)
Yes, I know they just beat the Vikings. Yes, I know they got turnovers against Favre. Well, they moved up didn't they?
8. Arizona Cardinals (14, 4-2)
Believe in the Cardinals. Along with their pass happy offense comes a pretty stout defense. I still hear people on ESPN saying the Steelers have the number 1 rush defense. No, they don't (even Tony Reali, stat boy himself says the Steelers are the best rush defense in all the land). This team is! You wouldn't know it. They are like the force in Paranormal Activity minus the fact that no one is talking about them. Not many see how great they are but in due time they will.
9. New York Giants (5, 5-2)
Two losses in a row are not good. Having Arizona come to your house and do something they haven't done in 20 years, win, also not good. Started out as a treat on the town, now you are tricks of New York. Congrats!
10. Atlanta Falcons (6, 4-2)
Another team in their way apparently is the Cowboys. Clearly Matt Ryan can't handle a lot of pressure in his face. Dallas blitzed him all night and got a victory because of how much pressure they put on him. The Cowboys wanted that game more then them. The Iceman Matt Ryan (or Matty Ice as he may be known) will need to have a great game against the league and division leading Saints on Monday Night Football, get those helmets crashin'.
11. Baltimore Ravens (10, 3-3)
Bye week. Get your helmets on boys because this one is going to be a knock out drag out fight. Steelers took out an unbeaten last week, hopefully we can do the same this week. Suggs, become the SUGGERNAUT! ACTIVATE BEAST MODE!
12. Philadelphia Eagles (13, 4-2)
They beat a struggling Redskins team but really didn't look dominant. Desean Jackson did, he put on a Flash costume and dusted the 'Skins for two scores (thanks buddy, needed those points in fantasyyyyyyyy). Real test this week with first place in the division on the line. Plus who really wants to get out shined by the Phils?
13. Houston Texans (17, 4-3)
Steve Slaton sighting. Matt Schaub and this Texans passing game is insane. They beat a tough team at home in beating the Niners. They are surely treating themselves to whatever they want no matter what the defense. This offense is the real deal, just don't blow it against the Bills. A team they shouldn't have a problem with.
14. Green Bay Packers (15, 4-2)
Two weeks in a row they have faced cupcake teams in the Lions and the Browns. They disposed of them like a good team should. They would love to give Favre some spiked candy for Halloween. Don't look into the mirror and say Aaron Rodgers 3 times Brett. If you do, he will come out and kill you Candyman style.
15. San Francicso 49ers (12, 3-3)
How Frank Gore didn't destroy the Texans porous defense is beyond me. Alex Smith is going to be their starter, he looked great late last week. Maybe he can prove that San Fran is his Final Destination!
16. New York Jets (18, 4-3)
Rex probably transformed into Voltron last week. What they did to the Raiders was brutal. What a beat down they put on them. Like they were Bane from Batman. Rex hit a button and they went crazy. Now let's see if they can keep that up and get some payback on Miami.
17. Dallas Cowboys (20, 4-2)
Miles Austin is the best receiver this team has had since Michael Irvin. Clearly he is no fluke as he has had two stellar performances in a row. He clearly has PF Flyers and is going as Benny "The Jet" Rodriguez this Halloween. The guy runs great routes and is a hard worker. Defense is starting to turn around to.
18. Chicago Bears (11, 3-3)
Two losses in a row is not good for the Monsters of the Midway. In addition to getting thumped by the Bengals, they were completely owned by Cedric Benson. That stings.
19. San Diego Chargers (19, 3-3)
They did what they were supposed to do against the Chiefs. It is something new every week for this team. Up and down. It's like Poison Ivy, they had everyone loving them before they ripped out their hearts by losing a few close games. Do Batman villain comparisons ever get old?
20. Miami Dolphins (16, 2-4)
Oh when the Saints, come marching in, oh when the Saints come marching in. Oh they want to change the number (of points they gave up to the Saints), when the Saints come to Miami. Everyone better hide from Bill Parcells as he may do his best Michael Myers impression and start taking people out if they keep losing.
21. Jacksonville Jaguars (21, 3-3)
Jack Del Rio is going to be playing someone from The Departed if he doesn't improve the defense. They can't win enough games to get into the playoffs without a decent defense. There are two potent offenses in their own division let alone any they have to face throughout the league. I mean, even the Rams gave them a scare.
22. Seattle Seahawks (23, 2-4)
This team is like Two Face. One week they are awesome and the next they don't show up at all. After a bye you have to wonder what kind of tricks they have up their sleeves. Hopefully, for my own fantasy purposes, my bag will be full of treats from Hasselback and Houshmandzadeh.
23. Buffalo Bills (25, 2-4)
So they officially have started a mini winning streak. Okay so they beat the Panthers and handled Jake Delhomme like everyone else has. Had they beat someone else I may have moved them up more. Honestly I just want to see if they are posers or if they actually can win a few tough games.
24. Carolina Panthers (22, 2-4)
Delhomme gives up plenty of treats to opposing defenses. He leads the league in INTs and is still going to start despite that. What Freddy Krueger does to dreams, opposing defenses do to Delhomme. If they didn't have Deangelo Williams and a defense that shows up once in awhile. Perhaps they should dress up as last year's Steelers, lord knows they don't want to play the Cardinals as themselves.
25. Kansas City Chiefs (24, 1-6)
They were really put in their place this week. Don't expect Larry Johnson to be playing any time soon over his infamous gay slurs. Don't expect any questionable dressing up from him anytime soon either. Especially with the teams bye week and all.
26. Oakland Raiders (26, 2-5)
They made me regret moving them up. They got STOMPED by the Jets, in the black hole no less! At least no one honestly knows who most of the fans on the sidelines are since they are dressed in more armor then a Medieval Times knight. So much for those playoffs Seymour.
27. Detroit Lions (27, 1-6)
They had a bye week and NFL is giving them a treat for Halloween. They get the Lambs er I mean Rams at home. Woohoo for mediocre games.
28. Tennessee Titans (28, 0-6)
This just in Jeff Fisher is going as Peyton Manning for Halloween. He just wants to be a winner. Maybe he should wear a Vince Young jersey, I think they could get their first W this week. He is facing a terrible pass defense in Jacksonville. So if he can't make it happen they should just lose out and get Sam Bradford.
29. Washington Redskins (30, 2-5)
Redskin fans got a rock when they turned on the TV on Monday night. Unfortunately that rock was only on defense. Without those Campbell turnovers their game could have had a different outcome. Maybe with Sherm "Bingo Caller" Lewis at the helm their offense will get better?
30. Cleveland Browns (29, 1-6)
Even more tricks. They just got abused by Green Bay this past week. The great news for their fans is they can just stay in those dog pound costumes or wear paper bags over their heads if they are silly enough to travel to Chicago.
31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31, 0-7)
Trick. Another lopsided game last week was their game against New England. They would have been better off playing a game in the English Premier League then against the Pats. Hey there was a Josh Freeman sighting, maybe he will go as a starter in the NFL this Halloween.
32. St. Louis Rams (32, 0-7)
A whole bag of tricks here. Did you honestly think they would beat let alone put up a fight against the Colts? They died quicker then a black person in a horror movie. I don't make the movies, you know I'm right. Everyone will wish they were dead as opposed to watching their game this week against the Lions. So this week they could be treats.
Dare to compare mine to those at ESPN. We differ on our opinions but hey, at least you know I'm not one to plagiarize! Check it out and I will see you here next week!http://espn.go.com/nfl/powerrankings
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