Easy Romeo

Haven't we done this before Ravens fans? Some pretty boy offensive guru comes along and we are suddenly going to become a juggernaut offense, our QB will be consistent and our running backs will actually have the ability to get us a first down if they run on 3 straight plays. Since the Ravens have come to Charm City I can only think of 3 times the media machine blew up when it came to a personnel change.

Starting with Brian Billick who, along with Marvin "and what felt like 14 other" Lewis', won us a title but I don't remember them erecting a statue of Trent Dilfer outside of M&T Bank stadium. Billick was the benefactor of the greatest deep threat known to man in Randy "Straight Cash Homie" Moss when he was with the Vikings. Moss led the league in TDs over 40 yards while Billick was the Offensive Coordinator there. He alone out performed the league with 14 in 1998. Second in the league that year in the team category were the 49ers with 13. That Vikings offense propelled Billick to the front of the head coach job market which brings us to 1999.We signed Billick. Our franchise was struggling to find its identity. Only a few years removed from Cleveland, we had enjoyed watching the great Vinny Testaverde, Jim Harbaugh and (gulp) Eric Zeier. Billick didn't solve our QB issues by any means. His first season we saw three starting QBs and even in our Super Bowl year in his second season we had two starters split time. We all know what his success lead to. Cough cough Kyle Boller cough cough. Our offense was stuck in mediocrity to say the least as they would never crack the top 10 in the league while the team's defense led by Ray Lewis (the guy who is having a statue erected next to Johnny U) carried the team. Don't forget Billick was also at the draft table that passed on Aaron Rodgers for that Oklahoma speedster named Marc Clayton.

That still bugs me to this day.

The next huge buzz we heard was, "Cam will save us!" Oh, you mean the guy who just led the Dolphins to that stellar first pick in the draft with their 1-15 record? I mean let's give him the job for the simple fact that we were the one victory that season. Sure. Remember he was that guy who developed our Lord Breesus Christ, Drew Brees and Philip Rivers into, wait for it, Philip Rivers. Under his tutelage his teams averaged 10 wins a season. However while they would make it to the playoffs I remember that his teams also never performed, never making it to the big game. Cam was going to change the face of our team to being a more balanced attack. We had always been a great rushing team but now we were going to punch you in the mouth then own you on a deep ball. Well he certainly kept the rushing attack alive only falling as low as 14th in the league which was during the 2010 season, his worst with the team. We were 16th in scoring, 14th in rushing, 20th in passing yards and 22nd in total yards. Most of his seasons were spent in mediocrity only cracking the top 10 in scoring twice. 2 out of 5 is great for baseball, but it gets you fired in football. The fun part has to be getting to watch the your team run on to win a Super Bowl without you.

No worries Cam, Jim Caldwell used that Super Bowl run to go coach the Lions. Enjoy LSU.

Since Caldwell's departure everyone was concerned that sweet talking Juan Castillo would somehow get the job. This is the same guy who talked Andy Reid into letting an offensive line coach(Castillo) be a defensive coordinator.So lets thank the football God's that Kubiak got fired! Now I know what one may think, this guy has been bashing everyone so far he's going to rip Kubiak apart. As a matter of fact, I'm not. Kubiak could turn me into a 1,000 yard rusher. You know, if I were to actually be in shape. One issue we had as a team last year was our ability to run the ball. We were 30th in the league after all .That had more to do with our line and injuries than anything else. Kubiak's system however follows this zone blocking scheme that Castillo teaches and as a matter of fact I suppose Kubiak is the Moses of. It was his teams that were the first to be overly successful with that blocking scheme. I feel like in Kubiak's career in Denver and Houston it didn't take a high draft pick or a ton of talent (Olandis Gary much) to become a 1,000 yard rusher in his system. During his 11 year tenure the Broncos won 2 Super Bowls, tallied up 66,501 yards and 465 TDs. The most in the NFL during that span (1995-2005). However don't compare what Kubiak has done in Denver with Elway to what he can do here with Flacco. The two QBs aren't on the same page, chapter or book. At least not yet.

Focus on Houston where he turned a franchise from an expansion team into a contender. The team was all over the place, inconsistent to say the least. The franchise didn't really see results on the offensive side of the ball until they got Matt Schaub from the Falcons back in 2007. It showed in their passing game that hovered around the top of the league including being the top passing attack in 2009. Honestly Kubiak's offense in Houston can relate to how a lot of people feel Joe Flacco's regular season has been. Inconsistent. A lot of ups and downs with the stats especially in the rushing game that everyone is hoping that Kubiak can improve. Breaking down the stats (passing, rushing, total yards and scoring) some areas are all over the place. The scoring numbers are sandwiched by 2 terrible seasons (2006 and 2013) where the team was one of the worst in the league. Forgetting all the issues the team had in those seasons whether it be injuries or Schaub throwing TDs to the opponent the offense still performed between the twenties. From '07 to '12 his were among the top offensive teams in the league. When they lacked a running game they had the top passing game. Finding an unknown stud like Arian Foster fixed that issue. Last season without Foster for most of it(eventually also losing Ben Tate, Foster's backup) the Texans were the 20th ranked rushing attack. 10 spots higher than the Ravens.

I'm not drinking the Kubiak Kool-Aid yet. I need to see some real game action to support my feelings toward this team and him. However I do think if the offense does perform and there are team issues that because of Kubiak's head coaching experience and Super Bowl pedigree that John Harbaugh has to stay on top of his game. Come see me midseason, hopefully I will have a cup ready to sip on that delicious sounding Kubiak Kool-Aid.

An Open Letter To the Fantasy Gods

Dear Fantasy Gods,

First of all, hello. How's life been treating you? Bet you guys are happy the NFL lockout ended. Me to. In other news, thanks for helping me get second place in my fantasy baseball league. That was great! Last to second place, very nice work.

However, this football season has been very unfair. First in one league you tell me that I have the best draft class. Then you smash my hopes in my survival league as I doubt the Redskins and pick the Giants. Really? You couldn't let Rex Grossman have one turnover in that game? I mean, I guess you made up for it the next week but come on. That isn't even the worst part.

Back to that whole "best draft class" thing. My Group of Flunkies has been exactly that. Three weeks into the season and they have only managed 179 total points. I know you guys know your math but that isnt even 60 points a week. Seriously?!? My highest scorer is Kevin Kolb. KEVIN, wait for it, KOLB! I have Vick, Desean Jackson, Chris Johnson, I mean surely one of them could have an awesome week! On a team with such potential my high scorers I haven't had one good week (until this week where I gave up on Vick - 33 points on my bench - and picked up Grossman - 7 points in my lineup - who was playing the Rams, epic fail. Needless to say, I'm down 26, my opponent is done and I have Addai playing tonight. I could have won.).

Of course I give up on my starters and start playing recent pickups who had good weeks last week, Nate Washington and Grossman against a poor opponent. I play Felix Jones who had a great week last week, on my bench, instead of Johnson and they reverse their production this week. I sit Ben Tate, since you allowed Arian Foster to get healthy, only to watch Foster own and Tate's value flush down the toilet. Also this week Tim Hightower becomes useless since Shanahan can't stick with one RB to handle the majority of the workload. Thanks a lot Shany, in the words of a pop culture icon, "I don't even know you and I hate yo guts." I just can't win, literally.

Also, why in the world do I have to face a QB who has a career week each week. This week, for example, I faced Aaron Rodgers and Cam Newton. I knew going in Rodgers was going to put up good numbers but, dramatic pause, really? He had to put up 53! In each league, occasionally in both, my opponents QB has at least 3 TDs or puts up 20+ points (Newton put up 33, respectively). It is honestly insane. Sure, Vick in week 1 posted good numbers (and this week on my bench as I said before) but he was terrible or injured in weeks 2 and 3. If it isn't their QBs blowing up its two players, as it was in week 1. When playing my uncle, Schaub scores 10. Lesean McCoy and the Bears D go off for 24 each and the only one on my team to produce is Vick.

Fantasy Gods I know you are very busy so I won't bore you with my fantasy football rage. At least for another week. However, if you don't let me win soon my head my explode. I have a wife and child. They don't need to see that. In closing, I hope you enjoy the gift basket that I sent you. It has cookies in the shape of little footballs. I know how much you love those.

One Love,
Brandan

Fo' Real or Fo' Suck

So it's that time again for NFL experts, idiot savants like myself, to crown Super Bowl champs after 2 games of the NFL season. They also enjoy picking on those who have gotten off to a slow start, saying they are "stuck on Luck" referring to potential number 1 pick Andrew Luck, by losing their first couple games. Well just for kicks and giggles, here is my take on the whole thing.

So out of 32 NFL teams there are 7 that are 2-0. Which for you stat nerds means 21% of the league is undefeated. 3 of those teams belong to the AFC East (Bills, Jets and Patriots). The Bills play the Pats this week to prove themselves. If they pull of the victory then expect experts to pick them and the Lions in the Super Bowl. While the rest are playing against 1-1 or 0-2 teams. The rest of the unbeaten are the Houston Texans, Green Bay Packers, Washington Redskins and the upstart Detroit Lions. Yeah, those Lions.

Everyone seems to be hopping on the Lions bandwagon but I remain cautious. They are still in the same division as the Packers but it looks like they may be a better contender than the Bears. Jay Cutler may not survive the season as often as he gets sacked and the same could be said about Matt Stafford from the Lions. If the wind picks up he could have a broken collarbone. If Stafford stays healthy, the percentages of that happening are low, the Lions could honestly be a playoff team. Their offense is explosive with Calvin "Megatron" Johnson and their defense with Ndamukong Suh in the middle has been decent. Against poor teams hence the caution. Fun fact, they are 10-0 dating back to last season. Including preseason that is. I don't expect them to win the division by any means. I think the two teams out of the NFC North are the real deal. The Packers have an MVP candidate, all around fantasy darling, Aaron Rodgers at QB. Defending champs have gotten a raw deal in years past but this is a team that won the Lombardi Trophy even while struggling through injuries to their best players. Jermichael Finley and Ryan Grant to name a couple. While they may not have the same team they have all those injured players back. Making their offense one of the most dynamic in the league.

The Jets and Texans are facing some tough road games in Oakland and New Orleans. New York is traveling to the black hole to face a Raiders team who are trying to prove they are going to start to matter for the first time in years. Darren McFadden has been on a roll lately but going against the Jets defense could be a challenge. However out of these two teams it is the Raiders who have the most to prove. Everyone believes in the Jets already, Rex Ryan wouldn't have it any other way. The Raiders on the other hand are in a struggling division trying to become a contender. While Houston, a undefeated team who has beaten the hapless Colts and the awful Dolphins, are playing their first playoff caliber team in the Saints. It will be a battle of familiar teams, great offenses with developing defenses. I can't go against the Saints at home but it should be a close one. Expect a shootout. Even though Brees is without some of his weapons. He is one of those quarterbacks where injuries to key players don't seem to phase his numbers. He produces no matter who is out there.

Speaking of production no matter the talent on the field, how about those Redskins? Even they remain undefeated with Rex Grossman out there. Who knew Shanahan was right about Grossman over McNabb? Clearly not the Vikings. The Skins have a division showdown with the enormously hated Cowboys this week. One of the great rivalries in the league, it seems no matter the record of the squads they produce a good game. Deangelo Hall is focused on Romo's ribs and who can blame him? Who wouldn't go after an injury to a team's franchise quarterback? This game closes out the weekend on Monday night and I'm sure it would thrill no team more than the Cowboys to end the Skins late success. I have a feeling that this game is going to come down to the two defenses. Either quarterback could be a turnover machine. We have seen it from both in their careers. We have seen two different forms of Tony Romo in the opening games of the Boys season. He either chokes in the final minutes or comes back from a punctured lung to win a big game on the road. The question mark is Grossman. Can he go another game without a turnover against a division opponent? Only time will tell.

Who knows after this weekend which team will still be undefeated. Some games would be easier to pick than others. Good luck to all those undefeated teams this week, especially the Bills. You are going to need it.

It has been a long time since I have "bs'ed" on here. I have to say I missed it. I hope you did to. Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. I would love to hear how awesome you think I am, even if you think the blog sucks more than my fantasy teams.

Fantasy Journal - 3 Weeks in the Books

So we are 3 weeks into the NFL and (more importantly in some eyes) the fantasy season. Some might feel ineligible for the playoffs with an 0-3 record (as Sam Jackson would say, "Not me!"). Others are dealing with injuries and/or under performance of top draft picks (officially never drafting Ryan Grant, ever!). All are trying to fix issues, whatever they are. No matter the record, there is always a position that can be amended.

So for the amusement of others (and to let out my fantasy rage) here is how I am doing with my leagues.

ESPN League - Fags On Football (12 team)

• Record - 1-2
• Issues - Oh where to begin with this crapfest of a team. Ryan Grant's ankle kills me, LT's reemergence as...LT destroys my second draft pick in Shonn Greene and Jay Cutler is my starting QB (inconsistency). Cutler leads the league in called back interceptions (5 last Monday...wait he just threw another 1) and I lead my league in lack of scoring. I put up over 100 the first week but could only muster 41 this past week. My WR's haven't been performing (really Colston! NO TD'S! SERIOUSLY?!?! YOU PLAY FOR THE SAINTS! Even David Thomas has a TD!).
• Reasons to have hope - Luckily I drafted decently in later rounds picking up Matt Forte and Thomas Jones. So at RB I think Jones may be my savior (as opposed to Jamaal Charles owners, who look at Jones as Judas) but my major issue comes at WR. Ochocinco blew up in week 1 but since has only led the league in tweets. Colston is allergic to the goalline this season as Brees has thrown to everyone else in this juggernaut of an offense. Luckily Johnny Knox is looking like a genius pickup in the later rounds as he is the clear deep threat in the Bears offense. One issue I left out above is my lack of performance from the TE position. Having Vick under center has hurt Brent Celek owners who were looking forward to a decent season with a Kolb Konnection for double digit TDs. That is not going to happen with Vick out there. I recently acquired Aaron Hernandez from the waiver wire. He leads the league in hype from fantasy "experts" and targets. While he may be without a TD he gets yards and has soft matchups against TE friendly defenses coming up. Like this Monday against Miami who made Dustin Keller look like Antonio Gates. This is the same Keller who still has no idea where the first down marker was after Ray Lewis jacked him up on the previous third down play. Also no one is really walking away with this league. The only one getting crushed...is me.
• Talking trade - I haven't done a decent trade midseason since my championship season on CBS's website (which apparently, no one in that league remembers). I traded for Larry Johnson (when he was still good) and he crushed everyone (everything) in my way. This time I am looking at trading my free agent pickup of Mike Tolbert. San Diego's goalline bloodhound is poaching carries from a struggling Ryan Mathews. So any value I can get from a bye week filler is good. Especially when you consider the Seahawks D, a totally different monster at home, and the fact that I would then own Leon Washington's return value. We each would be taking a chance but I need a D for my bye week, in a 12 team league it's slim pickings.

Yahoo! League - CBS Will Always Suck (10 team friends and family)

• Record - 2-0-1 (first place...first plaaaaaaaaaa-uh-uh-ace, ahead on points)
• Issues - This fun bunch has really underperformed when it comes to defense and RBs. Mostly because of my man crush on Ray Rice which has gotten me 21 points (7 pt avg) and no TDs. Not a good number from a first draft pick. Add to that he has gotten banged up the past two games (knee and ankle) and the sum is one worried fantasy owner. Other under performers are Knowshon Moreno who has been out with a hamstring injury but other than that has been great (that was until Maroney was picked up). While Felix Jones has done absolutely nothing. The Cowboys rushing offense has looked terrible and Jones has only mustered 8 total points through 3 weeks. Fail Jones! Speaking of those 'Boys, I dropped their defense after they looked awful against the 'Skins and Bears. How can you not get a turnover off Jay Cutler in your own house! Then they looked great against the juggernaut known as the Houston Texans. I will pick them back up as they are the type of defense that could get on a hot streak later in the year.
• Reasons I am Number 1 - I am currently riding the Michael Vick experience and it has been pretty awesome. 87 pts (750 yds passing, 6 TDs ; 170 rush yds, TD) has been great. Considering he outperformed Peyton Manning this week, I couldn't be happier. Speaking of week 3, WE FLY HIGH....BOLDIN! It was definitely the Wright decision to stick with him. Eric Wright, you are my MVP for not covering him at all in that game. Good work son! Speaking of avoiding coverage, Antonio Gates has been great as well. He can blow up at any moment and when he isn't scoring TDs he always manages to get yardage. That's more than most can say for their WR/TE flex position.
• Trade bait... - Speaking of Gates, I am not saying I WANT to trade him. However if the right offer came along I might part with him. He has injury issues and with my luck this season (read above ESPN league rage) I feel like he is due. I would want top tier position talent for him, no doubt. He is after all, #1 at his position.

Yahoo! League - Battle for Awesomeness (12 team)

• Record - 2-1 (5th, 205 pts, 198 PA)
• Issues - Ray Rice strikes again. Read above rage about that. Inconsistent QB play (Kolb injury didn't help, wasn't quick enough on Vick in this league) from Carson Palmer who has only 38 pts (29 in week 1...on my bench) and my recent acquisition of Josh Freeman (49 pts, sat last week because of Pitt D) hasn't helped in my past 2 weeks of wins. My other top RB is Jamaal Charles (mentioned above in ESPN rage) who I now get to rage about Thomas Jones. Todd Haley (Chiefs Head Coach) clearly is protecting Charles from being Larry Johnson which is okay. As long as they keep winning and play in the AFC West, Charles will get yards and hopefully long TDs. Jones is great, inside the 20's.
• Reasons to look forward to the playoffs - Austin Collie, while on my bench for his best game, has been looking great. Luckily Pierre Garcon hasn't been able to catch a cold and Anthony Gonzalez is injured...again. Hooray for me! The WR core I have here is pretty solid with Desean Jackson in there as well. Jackson is always great for a big play and considering in this league return points are awarded to a player and NOT team defense there is a reason to think he could find the end zone each week. Speaking of return points, CJ Spiller FINALLY has shown up in the fantasy world. Exploding last week with a return TD and a reception TD he totaled 20 points (YAY!) on my bench (BOO!)
• Trade bait... - Honestly Rice is one I would trade for the right talent. Rice has a great upside. Mainly because he has no where to go but up. With Charles on his bye week and Moreno being solid when he plays I may be able to pass Rice off to a needy team (that is obsessed with him). So if someone is reading this and wants to offer me a decent back or receiver, I am open to trade talks.

So there you have it. Fantasy rage/gloating complete. For now. Want to mock me? Tell me how awesome I am? Suggest a player that could help me? Ask for advice? Insult my ability to end all my blogs with a bunch of questions? Want to leave a comment? Gopher it!

Tuesday Fantasy Yuckfest - 9/14/10 Edition

Whether you want to admit it or not, some of you have already begun dumping players. Thinking some were a bad idea. Hitting the panic button. We are all people and I feel your pain.



This may become a weekly thing where I poke fun at fantasy blunders from the week.



I Want to Punch Myself in the Face for... (additions in bold)

• Having Kevin Kolb and Carson Palmer in two of my leagues and opting to not start Palmer in both games. Palmer would have won me the game and saved me a headache. Speaking of headache, Kolb suffered a concussion in the first quarter (fourth play?) of the game Sunday. Which also effected Desean Jackson's production although Michael Vick was running everywhere (103 yards rushing in the game), that didn't help me this week.


• Making an excellent sleeper pick that I thought could be filler and left him on my bench in week 1. If this is true than Hakeem Nicks(for me it was Knowshon Moreno) was on your bench. Which means you and a buddy of mine in our ESPN league have something in common. Hopefully your team put up more than 28 points though. Just the worst display of fantasy football play ever to only get 28 points. Speaking of a sleeper pick.
• Being able to say this, "Arian Foster alone beat me." I can't say it but if you can, you are not happy right now. While we are on the subject. (added 9/15/10)
• Not drafting Arian Foster. I mean, he wasn't off my radar. Nor was he drafted that late. He looked to be a great later round pickup, honestly though. How often will the Texans run the ball that much? Why do I have a feeling that this question will bite me back later?


• Tying. Seriously Rivers, 4 opportunities and Gates couldn't get 1 ball thrown his way?!? I mean what are you trying to prove? I don't care that he was triple covered, throw him the ball. He's Antonio Gates! You play to win the game!


• Losing to someone who started Santonio Holmes. This was even after I told her he wouldn't do anything. Hello! He's suspended. Unfortunately, Kolb's concussion killed me. Along with well...you know. Sitting Palmer!


• Talking up Ryan Grant. Who apparently has a "significant ankle injury." Great. Just wonderful. Grant looks to be a candidate for my banned from roster list. Which leads me to my next point.


• Not picking up Brandon Jackson immediately when Grant went down. I have Grant in two leagues and attempted to pick him up in my ESPN league (won't know until Weds. if I got him off waivers). He was already gone in my Yahoo! league.

I'm sure there are more out there. Give me your reason for displays of violence against yourself or others. Did you just want to destroy something beautiful? Or want to punch someone who talks so much smack about their championship(s). Let me hear about it!

Fantasy Journal - OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG

The fantasy football season starts, TOMORROW! Did your head explode? Mine did. For the past 2 weeks all I've my chronic ESPN and Yahoo following has come to my teams being drafted. Starting lineups prepped, prepped, and prepped again. However, readers of my blog are so far behind. I had two drafts and haven't even bragged/complained about my team yet!



My two Yahoo! drafts went better than expected. Not only was my 12 team league faster than the 10 team in draft time (shocking!) and my teams might not suck! So instead of analyzing all my picks I will tell my position in each draft and who I selected. Each league has a roster as follows:



QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, RB/WR, WR/TE, Defense, Kicker



The first being the 12 team league early Sunday afternoon. A league in which I finished out of the playoffs last season, hello early draft position this season!





League Name - Battle For Awesomeness
Team Name - The Junk Punters



(because a kick to your crotch feels so top notch!) go to the link to get the reference: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vglZCRMbyQ



This season I decided to show my loyalty and my love towards my first pick. With the second pick I snagged Ray Rice, over Captain Fumblitis Mr. Adrian Peterson. Rice killed it for me last year in my ESPN league so I couldn't deny him a spot on my roster. So after him my draft looked like this, pick number in parentheses. Desean Jackson (23), Jamaal Charles (26), Dallas Clark (47) , Kevin Kolb (50), Malcolm Floyd (71), Felix Jones (74), Philadelphia D (95), C.J. Spiller (98), Carson Palmer (119), Lee Evans (122) , Darren Sproles (143), Austin Collie (146), Fred Taylor (167) and Robbie Gould (170). All in all this looks like the best team I have ever had in this league. At least right now they lead the league in high hopes. Kolb is a bit of a risky pick but I wanted at least one QB/WR connection.

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• Hey, guy who wrote this Saturday, Kolb sure was a risky pick! DUH! Going into the Monday Night games I am down 60-29. I have 3 players remaining, 2 RBs and a WR (Rice @ Jets, Charles vs. SD and Floyd @ KC), so I am not completely out of it yet. Not too confident about Rice against the Jets to open the stadium. Charles and Floyd will hopefully produce against poor defenses. Add to the fact my opponent still doesn't understand what NA next to Santonio Holmes means (it doesn't mean he's carrying narcotics[again], it means he is not active!), I think there is a slight chance. Now excuse me as I punch myself for not just starting Carson Palmer.

My friends and family league (10 team head to head) drafted on Labor Day a little before 1pm. Imagine to my surprise that the guy with the number 1 pick (who didn't want Chris Johnson) ate his entire draft clock therefore autopicking Johnson. In reality he wanted Drew Brees. This is me documenting those actions so he can't say this, "Oh I was just messin' with you guys," at a later time. His length of time to pick should have tipped me off to what was going to be the longest 10 team draft ever. 2 were AUTOPICKS!

League Name : CBS Will Always SUCK!

Team Name: 3 Penis Whiners

("The League" reference)

Once again, Rice went to me as I had an early pick (3rd) and the rest of the draft went like this: Ryan Grant (18), Miles Austin (23), Anquan Boldin (38), Antonio Gates (43), Terrell Owens (58), Carson Palmer (63), Dallas' D (78), Knowshon Moreno (83), Felix Jones(98), Kevin Kolb (103), Ladainian Tomlinson (118), David Akers (123), Sidney Rice (138) and Mike Williams[TB] (143). Looking, "prettay prettay prettay good." If I don't mind saying so. Pretty deep at RB so might be some trade bait there. Or in case of emergency, break open bench!

Monday 9/13/10 Update:

• No punching in this league necessary as I actually start Palmer instead of Kolb. The injury to Ryan Grant hurts considering Moreno sat on my bench with 12 points. While Grant had only 4 and a leg injury. So consider this an emergency. Grant has had ankle problems and that is what the early report is on the injury. If my complaining hasn't told you already, I am down in this game as well. Losing 77-58 with both of us having players going tonight. Rice, Gates and Charles to go while he has Dwayne Bowe and Shonn Greene. I think Green and Rice will match each other while Charles and Gates may explode. Each player is facing a sub par defense and Bowe is to. He has excellent career numbers against the Chargers. I'm not giving up, I'm just being realistic.

Monday Update ESPN League:

• Complete destruction by the Nerf Herders. Matt Forte(30 points) for MVP assisting my team to 93 points and an early 32 point lead on Team AFK. We each have players to go, Baltimore defense for me and Chris Chambers/Jerricho Cotchery for him. Saying his players were of higher caliber I may be worried. Up 32 with only a defense to play, I highly doubt the dynamic duo of Chambers and Cotchery can make up 32+. Special shout out to Ochocinco(21 points), leading the Bengals charge to second place in the AFC North. As for this game, I never will lose this large of a lead to low tier players. I know they say to never say never but I'm saying never!

Well follow the updates to see how my team is or isn't doing. Expect a new journal to tell final results. Good luck tonight to those who need some points to dominate!

Fantasy Journal - With the 11th Pick in the 2010 Draft, The Nerf Herders Select...

Ryan Grant. I know it isn't who I was hoping for but when I logged into the draft to find out what position I would have (the league commish for the 2nd year in a row had first pick, supposedly randomized) I wasn't happy. Really? 11th pick? The WR that were there were decent but not worth a #1 draft pick. So here is how it all went down.

Before the draft I had a meal which I would hope lead to the people in my house giving me some space. Red beans and rice. Unfortunately the unbearable gas didn't happen until after my draft plus my daughter would have thought my farts were hilarious. So after I raged a little at other fantasy nerds who got in there early about my late draft position I took care of some stuff around the house. Ease my mind if you will. But by the time 8:30 came around I was ready to go.

Imagine my surprise to see someone not pick Chris Johnson with the first pick. The draft went as most go, everyone taking RBs besides a couple picking up wideouts (Johnson, from the Texans and Moss, from the Pats). Luckily with the 11th pick this snake draft allows me to jump on another decent back at the 14th pick. So with those picks I made what I thought were the most solid picks left at RB with Grant and Shonne Greene. What felt like hours later I was ready to start picking up my other position players, WRs. As long as I got two decent top tier guys (one who's QB was still on the board) there wouldn't be a problem.

So of course I snagged Marquez Colston and Chad Ochocinco. Carson Palmer was a much later round pick so I knew I could sit on him. Perhaps draft another QB before taking him. The commish failed to make a flex position as he said he would so I had to grab a TE before all the decent ones were gone. Visanthe Shiancoe (from...MORGAN STATE) and Brent Celek were there and due to my loyalty from having him last year, I took Celek. So my position players looked pretty solid especially considering what I was looking at. Now due to what everyone else was doing (going crazy on defenses) the rest of the draft went like no other I normally do.

My next pick is usually a backup/matchup starter. So why not go with Matt Forte, in a Mike Martz system and looking great in preseason. If he couldn't catch out of the backfield Martz being there would hurt him more than help. After this pick I was sitting around waiting for my picks to come up and just watching a decent amount of defenses fly off the board. About 5. I knew if I wanted a top tier unit (albeit a homer pick but still) I would need to act fast. So when it came to me I hopped right on the Ravens defense/special teams. I took a glance at the rosters. Most everyone had QBs and needed more skill position help. So I thought I could let my QB spot go a little longer and picked up Thomas Jones. Yes, I know Jamaal Charles has looked a 1000x better than him but it's still Thomas Jones. He takes every one's job eventually. He most likely will get goal line carries a la Tim Hightower in Todd Haley's system 2 years ago. Now the waiting game.

Okay on the round heading up to me I start seeing QB's go off the board and realize I need to act quickly. Vince Young and David Garrard are taken. Good I didn't want them anyway. I jump on the Cutler train. I know no one wants Cutler. However he finished the season strong in his last few games and I really think Martz being there is going to make a difference for him. Last year was his worst year as a pro. One of my fantasy rules is never expect a repeat of a previous season. This being one of those cases. With my next pick I grabbed his proposed #1 target in Johnny Knox. Figuring that I could grab Carson Palmer on the next go around. Needless to say, I was wrong.

Normally I stay away from kickers until the last round. I don't draft 2 of them (or 2 defenses) because someone always steps up or has a great matchup the 1 or 2 weeks you need them. However when I saw 3 kickers jump off the board before it got back to me I knew I needed to grab the best option. Rob Bironas was there and I scooped him up. Kaeding was off first in the 7th round, Gostkowski to follow in the 8th, Nedney and Longwell in the 9th before I watched Akers (who I wanted), Mason Crosby and Garrett Hartley go. None were drafted in the 11th before I took Bironas but I would rather have him than Nedney or Longwell. I grabbed a backup WR on a reach when I scooped up Eddie Royal who is now the best option in Denver. The rounds are flying by and I realize there are only 3 more to go. Me still with no backup QB. Houston, we have a problem.

So what felt like 5 hours later, was probably a mere 5 minutes, I grab a backup QB. Matt Moore. Yet another reach for a QB. He is another one who looked decent towards the end of last season and he does face such epic defenses as Tampa Bay (this isnt 2003, Derrick Brooks isn't walking through that door), Atlanta and New Orleans. NO being the main one to worry about due to there inate ability to get turnovers. Oh look at that it's my turn to pick again. Why has no one drafted Willis McGahee? I mean especially whoever has Ray Rice should have grabbed him. Well whatever, thanks buddy. McGahee probably won't have a similar year to last year but should be useful for matchups or bye weeks. Especially if he starts getting all the goal line work. Hooray another long wait for my last pick.

With the 179th pick, the Nerf Herders select (long dramatic pause) Mike Williams. Receiver, Tampa Bay. For some reason this AM I felt the need to post this to facebook just to screw around. I thought it was funny and know that anyone who was on at the time didn't care. Honestly at that point in the draft, I didn't care. If I can get someone who has been talked about all over the web with great upside, that is a win. Williams is that guy.

So as of week 1 my roster is going to look like this...

QB - Jay Cutler
RB - Ryan Grant
RB - Matt Forte (against the Lions, sorry Suh)
WR - Marquez Colston
WR - Chad Ochocinco
D/ST - Ravens D
K - Rob Bironas

With the remainder of players hanging on the bench. More than likely, knowing me I will change everything like 80 million times but this looks good to me. Plus I am going against someone who auto picked their draft and managed to grab Sidney Rice (out until late Oct, Nov) so that will be a big fat donut in that roster spot. Since his team is named Team AFK (away from keyboard), last season he never logged in. For some reason the commish invited him back. I think, possibly the two guys are sleeping together. Which would then make sense for the awkward fantasy football name which uses a gay slur in the title. I am too grown for that, well not really.

So if you aren't sleeping already thanks for reading and I will see you back here soon. Especially since I have yet another draft on Sunday. Hooray!