Up for Debate: Has Luck Passed Flacco?

Seems like a valid question. Sure Luck is still a newborn baby in this league (his beard is deceiving) compared to Flacco (who thank the Gods hasn't tried to grow that handle bar 'stache back) but without either player their teams would be in for a world of hurt. However when it comes to national attention Luck seems to get a whole lot more support for MVP talks. Yes I know it is early but these are the same people who make Super Bowl picks before training camp.

Luck is merely entering his third year in the league. Flacco, his seventh. When comparing their first two seasons Luck is superior to Flacco. Except for that whole, winning in the playoffs thing. Was Flacco the reason we won during his rookie campaign? No way! Our defense carried us all the way to AFC Championship game. Although thanks to research I get to remember 2008 as the year we got swept by the Steelers. Excuse me while I sarcastically shout "Yay!" Was Flacco the reason Luck lost in the playoffs? Sprinkle in two TDs, a 125.6 passer rating and our defense trying to help Ray Lew 52 ride off into the sunset in style. You bet your sweet crabcake he was! Anyway, Luck has better numbers across the board in the regular season. Luck has had 23 TDs in each of his last two seasons. While Flacco had a mere 14 in his rookie season and followed that up with 21 the following year. However this was when the Steelers defense was still elite/young/gave a crap (unlike now as it seems) while Luck faced cupcakes like the Jags and Titans twice. So while some might say "numbers don't lie" others might retort with,"competition does."

As far as their opponents go this season Flacco has faced better defensive squads than Luck. Unless you consider the Jags or Titans and their "not too shabby" tagline as elite. If that is the case, have another and don't drink and drive. Luck has passed for nearly 800 yards in the past two weeks against those goons. Flacco hasn't looked too bad in the past few weeks himself. This after both had rough outings against tough opponents in week one. Both accounted for a lot of yardage but we all know of Flacco's time management issues against Cincy as well as Luck's ability to start a game/season flat against Denver. Both are dealing with separate issues in their respective offenses. Whether its Trent Richardson being a waste of time/carries or Dennis Pitta's hip injury, both are significant to what their teams can do in the passing game. Overall I would say on numbers alone Luck would take the title in this one. I would argue with any and every Colts fan that their division is garbage. Let me see how Luck does against a formidable Bengal defense. The biggest effect on the two has got to be the personnel on offense.

This season's shining star has been the offensive line's performance in Baltimore. Flacco has only been sacked three times in four games (second in the league to Andy Dalton) and it has helped the run game improve to seventh in the league. This with our third and fourth options at the position! Steve Smith Sr. has been doing laps in the fountain of youth as he is off to the greatest start of his career. He has the potential to not only set career bests but to break NFL records for a receiver 35 or older. We all thought he would boost the offense, we had no idea how much. While on the flip side we have some crafty veteran receivers in Reggie Wayne and T.Y. Hilton. In all honesty I would take Hilton over Torrey Smith. He has just been a better overall receiver in his career thus far. He has the numbers to back it up and was even explosive on special teams his rookie season.

Where we will dominate is at the line. Indy is lacking a pass rush with no Robert Mathis who will still be serving a suspension which leads me to believe Flacco should have a relatively clean jersey for yet another week. Also on the defensive side I have the Suggernaut all over the Colts backfield with their inexperienced line which gives up about two sacks a game. Luck surprisingly does have the ability to scramble (similar to Flacco honestly, let's remember he was our best rush threat last season...unfortunately). Those scrambles usually lead to first downs and sustained drives. While the Colts may be first in total offense, I have to give Flacco and the rest of our offensive personnel. Based nearly on running backs alone. How did Trent Richardson go from first round gem to trade trash? Justin Forsett meanwhile is leading the league in average yards per carry while Lorenzo Taliaferro has played the role as the closer in the past two games. Rumbling over tired opponents who couldn't keep up with Forsett only to get trucked by Taliaferro. Where they effect the passing game is mainly on play action since neither is heavily used out of the backfield the way Ray Rice used to. Only getting about 3 or 4 balls thrown their way. Well Forsett's way, Taliaferro hasn't made a reception as of yet. 

The interesting thing about Andrew Luck is he has yet to beat Joe Flacco however he was able to beat Peyton Manning his first try. This will be their second meeting, while not in the playoffs will be just as important on potential seeding in this year's postseason. Without Luck the Colts would be lucky to finish with six wins. The same could be said for the Ravens. Especially in their tough division. Both are very clutch when it comes down to tight situations and want the ball for that final drive to win the game. Until Luck proves himself in the postseason he stays behind Flacco. He may not be flashy but that unibrowed Jersey boy knows how to win! Two top 10 offenses going at it this Sunday, hopefully the Ravens will come out victorious.

Replacing Dennis Pitta

At least this week Raven fans can loom and gloom regarding the unfortunate non contact injury suffered by one of their own. As opposed to the negative light being shown to the world while the Ray Rice experience continues. However, as I have stated before there are still games to be played. If the Ravens look across the parking lot at the Orioles they can learn something about dealing with injuries. No all star catcher? They had a Caleb Joseph for that. No big eared platinum glover at third? Let's throw anyone and everyone who has ever played third base since grade school over there. Throw some overachievers on the mound and we got ourselves a bonafide division winner at Camden Yards.

So without Pitta once again, how will the offense look? Who will step up and help produce? How will people's fantasy team survive? When will I stop asking so many questions that I am about to answer?

First and foremost, if you didn't grab Steve Smith Sr. in the late rounds of your draft or scoop him up off the waiver wire than shame on you! Smith is going to apparently make it rain blood and guts against his former team this Sunday so make sure you got your goggles. After his case of drop-itis back in Week 1 Smith Sr. has been Flacco's go to receiver. We all saw that late in the Cleveland game when Flacco hit Smith Sr. with that 32 yard pass that set up Optimus 9's (Justin Tucker for those who don't know) game winner. Expect him, Smith Sr. , to be even more involved in the offense. Especially this week against his former squad of 13 years. The Panthers might have to double up on him.

Kyle Juszczyk also looked great coming out of the backfield on Sunday. He couldn't have been more open on his touchdown catch from the flat where he barreled into the end zone. Preceding to imitate LeBron James' powder entrance, I didn't know Juszczyk had that in him. I expected him to be a huge step up from Leach when it came to the passing game. Juszczyk has more speed and better hands than Leach had. Being a former tight end in the Ivy League helps.

Speaking of tight ends did everyone forget we have Owen Daniels? Is he injury prone? Abso-freaking-lutely. Has he dominated in Kubiak's offense before? You betcha! Daniels is certainly not the player he once was but he is certainly better than most expected. For those expecting something like Dallas Clark was last year, you were wrong. A warm body that would drop more passes than he caught, thank goodness that is not the case. Daniels wasn't used much in last week's game but during weeks 1 and 2 he fared well. For the 2nd tight end that is, having 9 catches for 72 yards with 2 TDs. He figures to have many more targets being the number one option at TE with Pitta down for the year. He will also have the highest acquisition rate for anyone who owned or thought about owning Pitta in fantasy football.

My original sleeper before the season started was Lorenzo Taliaferro. Thank the fantasy football gods he performed when given the chance last week as he rumbled all over Cleveland. It only took a Ray Rice release and a, shocker, Bernard Pierce injury. As long as he can hold on to the ball I don't see why he wouldn't keep getting opportunities in the future. Pierce is still hampered by the quad injury and running back committee seems to be what everyone is doing these days. That Carolina D didn't look too sharp at home against Cheech and Chong(Le'Veon Bell and LaGerrette Blount) last week. So why not let Forsett and Taliaferro  keep the trend going by running all over those Panthers!

There are plenty of others who may step up that I have forgotten to mention. Marlon Brown, last season's end zone bloodhound, could be seen with more 3 receiver formations. He is superior to how Jacoby Jones has looked so far and obviously once you are inside the opponent's 30 Jacoby can go relax. Not to mention he has had a case of butter fingers this season. Also where in the world is Torrey Smith? He has been nonexistent in this post and this offense so far this year. A few days ago I saw his post about his brother's passing 2 years ago. It made me think back to that epic performance he dropped on the Pats in his brother's remembrance. Where is that guy? He's in there somewhere!

So let's hope for another home win this week with some more dominance. I expect to see some flags fly this week and possibly Steve Smith Sr.'s fist. Let's remember he punched someone when he was actually on the team. Should make for an excellent game to watch.

Browns Players ? I Should Care...Why?

Looking past their alleged upset over the Saints at home this week some might feel like the Browns are the cupcake in the AFC North. "The Saints play soft on the road," some may say or, "who cares it was their home opener!" Well I am here to tell you, that was the first time the Browns have won a home opener in 10 years. It's kind of a big deal.

They fought back against a subpar Steelers team at the big ketchup stain (Heinz Field, whatever) while the Ravens looked lackluster against the Bengals. Before surprisingly smacking around the Steelers last week. These Browns are going to give our squad a tight game. Here are 5 guys we need to worry about this week.

Joe Haden

Was he completely owned by Jimmy Graham? Absolutely. Who wouldn't be? Even self proclaimed greatest corner in the league Richard Sherman had safety help against the likes of Graham and Rob Gronkowski. Haden tied Sherman for second in the league last season with 24 passes defended. Haden has shutdown ability and more than likely will be working on Torrey Smith for most of the game. Considering how little Torrey has done so far his matchup could change. Either way Flacco has to be aware of where Haden is at anytime. He is one of, surprisingly, many Cleveland Pro Bowlers from a year ago. While he currently has only one defended pass and few tackles one thing is certain, Haden is a talented corner with above average tackling ability.

Joe Thomas

No not all of their worrisome players are named Joe. This isn't a flashy pick but let's think about this for a second. How often was Hoyer on his back Sunday? Once. Not a result of Thomas' outstanding play. His match-up from the left tackle position with Terrell Suggs will be a fun one to watch. Suggs managed to get to a Browns QB once in each game last season. Hopefully he should be able to do it again. Thomas is one of the top tackles in the league and has yet to miss a game in his career. Add to the fact that we haven't proven to be consistent with our pass rush and that entices this match-up even more. 

Terrance West

For years the Ravens have preached and survived off their ability to run and stop the run. Drafting this young man from nearby Towson University would have helped them immensely in replacing Ray Rice. West has gone on to be the Browns savior in the backfield so far this season. Drafted as an insurance policy for Ben "if I sneeze too hard I'm out 3 weeks" Tate, West shined against the Steelers rushing for 100 yards on 16 carries in week 1. Then followed that this past week in a starting role, rushing for 68 yards and a TD. West is currently averaging a decent 4.8 YPC meaning if he gets the ball twice, get ready to move those chains. The Ravens have yet to prove their ability to stop the run giving up 125.5 YPG. Placing them in the middle of the pack in the NFL. This could lead to a big day for West who will not only effect the running game. He also can play a role in the passing game making catches out of a backfield and his ability to pick up the blitz.

Paul Kruger

There is something about former players facing their former team that concerns me. Has Kruger been a nightmare since leaving Baltimore? Other than "never wearing his pads correctly" (seriously wifey let it go) not really. Kruger hasn't proven anything to Cleveland mustering only 4.5 sacks last season. However this season has been different. Kruger was a maniac against the Saints on Sunday, hurrying Brees several times and managing a sack. He currently has 2 on the season. He will be battling with Ricky "Is any Raven fan 100% confident in this guy yet?" Wagner. While our line has held up so far, including Wagner, Kruger could still raise some havoc. Hopefully we won't all need prescriptions for Hypnocil post Kruger's nightmare inception. A dream within a dream within a nightmare within a paradigm within a, let's just hope we stop him.

Karlos Dansby

So we go from a guy who was on the Ravens to someone that was rumored to possibly come to the team. Also is it really a surprise that the new leader of this defense is someone we should be worried about? Dansby was a menace with Arizona and Miami before jumping ship to the Browns this season. Effective in passing and rushing defense he is someone we need to be concerned with. Tackling anything in his path and knocking balls in the air to cause the occasional interception are just a few of the things this guy can do. He currently ranks 10th among linebackers in the league with 18 tackles.

I know what some of you might be thinking, what about Billy Cundiff? First of all screw that guy and second (long pause) screw that guy. Although if I have to give an honorable mention it has to go to Brian Hoyer. Without much talent receiver wise this kid is still finding a way to win. Nearly going undefeated in his 5 starts for the Browns. Clearly unaffected by pressure, this game is going to be closer than people think. Cleveland is not going to be a cake walk.

There IS a Game This Week....Right?

I'm sure by now we all have seen the terrible Ray Rice video and all of the actions that have followed. Backlash, suspensions, accusations, depression. Just doesn't feel like there is about to be a game on Thursday night. Most haven't been able to focus on the true meaning of Steelers week. So without further adieu here are some fun things I have gotten to do this week.

Marvel at the fact that in my home there are equal amounts Steeler memorabilia as Raven stuff. 

I mean why not? What Ravens fan doesn't have a handful of shirts, jerseys, huddler (NFL Snuggie ripoff), blankets, and bobbleheads scattered through their home? What Ravens fan gets to look over every morning on his wife's night stand and see Terry Bradshaw's goofy face? I'll give you a hint, he has two thumbs and is overusing questions in this paragraph.

Make a Steelers fan spell Roethlisberger without using their phone, newspaper, jersey, computer or speak and spell.

No seriously give it a shot. In fact do it to one that still hasn't gotten their GED. Shouldn't be too hard to find one of those, right?

The mere mention of Santonio Holmes and goal line in the same sentence...

Still makes me cringe. Coworker did this to me the other day and immediately began laughing at my face. The ruling on the field what?!? No way. He wasn't in. THE LACES WERE IN! 

No matter what the context, Bart Scott

If you have no idea the meaning of that last sentence I'm going to need you to hand in all that memorabilia we spoke about earlier. Here, let me refresh your memory. We were smashing the Steelers to a tune of 35-7 when Scott came off the edge untouched and completely obliterated Big Ben. I get "the look" when I bring that up to Steeler fans. That look, priceless.

Ngata broken nose

Sure Steelers fans talk about how we have thugs and wife beaters on our team. Oh yeah? Well Ngata just broke Ben's nose. So, take that!

Argue with some idiot Pats fan about the greatest rivalry in football

Here is an example of how that one starts, "Brady/Manning is the greatest rivalry in football!" Oh really? Sure it is one of the greatest matchups between arguably the top 2 QBs in the sport over the past decade but last time I checked those games tend to be pretty one sided. Give me an old fashioned punch me and I'll punch you back game that ends in a 16-13 victory. Both teams being evenly matched not only at the QB position but in all parts of the game. In the same division, it is just hard to sell the Pats against Manning. They maybe meet once or twice a year and after that there may be a hiatus. Ravens and Steelers are teams with the same tough guy bravado that plain don't like each other. It's like a bad 80's movie that you can't turn away from.

Figure out what excuse to use on Friday when you show up to work and still smell like you watched a late night football game

Personally speaking I have to beat the sun to work. It is not going to be a good day. I'm leaning towards using, "I got a fever," in my best Christopher Walken voice. Especially if I have to see the face of smiling Steeler fans there for 8 hours straight.

Remind the Steelers that Baltimore already gained 100 yards on them

Yeah, Terrance West graduated from Towson. He counts. He did that on 16 carries while 4 Browns backs gained at least 50 yards. Remember when you saw they tied the game? Raise your hand if you couldn't believe it. I honestly thought I was being punked. They blew a 24 point lead, at home to. . . THE BROWNS? Not Johnny Foosball, but Hoyer, a truckload of running backs and the hurry up offense? Get out of here.

All in all we just need to focus on football. Hopefully this has made you forget about that stupid. overplayed video. Don't hone in on that negative. Come on people, Steelers week is upon us. So get out there and mock a fan today!

The Dream Becomes...Fantasy?

photo courtesy of projectshanks.com

Every die hard or even casual fan partakes in the glory that is excellence which is fantasy sports. It is that time of the year where everyone squeezes in their drafts over the holiday. While making sure to possibly make a friend or loved one throw their phone, tablet or computer out the window when their player is "stolen." I figure what better time to give advice then right after most are done with their picks. Right?

Well let's be realistic. Even the most die hard Raven fan doesn't want Joe Flacco as their number 1 option at QB. Purple Reign's own Phil Gentile has him ranked at number 22. Placing him in the sandwich of fail that is Ryan Tannehill and Eli "Remember when I won 2 Super Bowls" Manning. Personally I like ice cream sandwiches more than the old failwich but I can live with where Phil(and most experts) have him. We all know Flacco isn't going to light up the fantasy boards. While he has increased his total yardage, the stat most important to fantasy nerds is touchdown(TD) to interception(INT) ratio. His best season in 2010 he had 25 TDs, a career high, 10 INTs and a 93.6 passer rating. However last season while he led the team with 4.9 YPC (yards per carry), mostly from running for his life with a poor offensive line, he regressed in his important fantasy numbers. 22 INTs compared to only 19 TDs. Joe ran for more yards in a season than he had in the previous 2 seasons combined but lacked the time to improve on his TD to INT ratio.

Has this scared anyone away from drafting Flacco this season? With only 35% of teams owning him in Yahoo, one would have to believe so. 4% have him as their starter right now. Which means 4% of teams better be run by his mom. That is the only excuse. Flacco is a solid backup or bye week filler with great potential. Flacco has never really had this many weapons at his disposal. Saying the line gets him time and he executes Kubiak's quick passing attack, the sky could be the limit. Steve Smith Sr. proved he still has great hands with his fabulous end zone catch and slide, which felt like he was just going to glide right into the locker room. Steve's presence mentoring Torrey will only improve upon his great receiving numbers. His first lesson should be teaching him how to find the end zone. He could only muster 4 TDs last season. The list goes on of talented receivers at Joe's disposal. A healthy Dennis Pitta, improving speedster Jacoby Jones, suspended with something to prove Ray Rice and old but not forgotten Owen Daniels. Not to mention a fullback with every awkward letter in the alphabet in his name and the ability to catch the ball in the flat, punishing those who step in his way. Yeah, that's right, not one but 2 Z's in Juszczyk.

Some might be saying, "what's the point of all that?" The point of that was, don't drink and draft. Don't drink purple Kool-Aid with Ravens shades on and draft Flacco as your starting QB in the 3rd round. Seriously I saw someone do this in the second round of my draft. Before my fantasy lord and savior Drew "Breesus!" Before anyone asks, no I do not play fantasy football with Joe Flacco's dad or any of his relatives. Just some crazed Raven fans.

Most of which know where I may be going with my sleeper pick for this season. Keep an eye on Lorenzo Taliaferro. I'm not saying his 243 rushing yards this preseason have impressed me. Bowling over a guy who is going to be bagging groceries next week doesn't phase me. What does are his impeccable college numbers from last season which proved he could handle the rock (276 attempts) and be productive (1729 yards, 6.3 YPC, 27 TDs). With Bernard "Mr. Glass" Pierce possibly missing time and Ray Rice missing the first two games who knows if he will get some playing time. The biggest concern for Taliaferro besides his playing time is his need to be prescribed Robitussin. That is the only thing that may cure his coughing up the football. He is only owned in 1% of Yahoo leagues. He has potential value for the first two games of the season with Pierce recently cleared from a concussion (one hit could change that) and Rice's previously mentioned suspension. Perhaps in a 12-14 team league, scoop him up. Anyone relying on Rice's services should have him on their watch list.

Photo Courtesy of AP

Here's hoping for an excellent season for Harbaugh So Hard, Ray Rice and Beans, Smith Family Robinson, Raven Mad, Suggernauts or whatever anyone can think of supporting their Raven fandom with their fantasy team. Good luck in those runs through the season, unless perhaps I'm in the league with you.

Easy Romeo

Haven't we done this before Ravens fans? Some pretty boy offensive guru comes along and we are suddenly going to become a juggernaut offense, our QB will be consistent and our running backs will actually have the ability to get us a first down if they run on 3 straight plays. Since the Ravens have come to Charm City I can only think of 3 times the media machine blew up when it came to a personnel change.

Starting with Brian Billick who, along with Marvin "and what felt like 14 other" Lewis', won us a title but I don't remember them erecting a statue of Trent Dilfer outside of M&T Bank stadium. Billick was the benefactor of the greatest deep threat known to man in Randy "Straight Cash Homie" Moss when he was with the Vikings. Moss led the league in TDs over 40 yards while Billick was the Offensive Coordinator there. He alone out performed the league with 14 in 1998. Second in the league that year in the team category were the 49ers with 13. That Vikings offense propelled Billick to the front of the head coach job market which brings us to 1999.We signed Billick. Our franchise was struggling to find its identity. Only a few years removed from Cleveland, we had enjoyed watching the great Vinny Testaverde, Jim Harbaugh and (gulp) Eric Zeier. Billick didn't solve our QB issues by any means. His first season we saw three starting QBs and even in our Super Bowl year in his second season we had two starters split time. We all know what his success lead to. Cough cough Kyle Boller cough cough. Our offense was stuck in mediocrity to say the least as they would never crack the top 10 in the league while the team's defense led by Ray Lewis (the guy who is having a statue erected next to Johnny U) carried the team. Don't forget Billick was also at the draft table that passed on Aaron Rodgers for that Oklahoma speedster named Marc Clayton.

That still bugs me to this day.

The next huge buzz we heard was, "Cam will save us!" Oh, you mean the guy who just led the Dolphins to that stellar first pick in the draft with their 1-15 record? I mean let's give him the job for the simple fact that we were the one victory that season. Sure. Remember he was that guy who developed our Lord Breesus Christ, Drew Brees and Philip Rivers into, wait for it, Philip Rivers. Under his tutelage his teams averaged 10 wins a season. However while they would make it to the playoffs I remember that his teams also never performed, never making it to the big game. Cam was going to change the face of our team to being a more balanced attack. We had always been a great rushing team but now we were going to punch you in the mouth then own you on a deep ball. Well he certainly kept the rushing attack alive only falling as low as 14th in the league which was during the 2010 season, his worst with the team. We were 16th in scoring, 14th in rushing, 20th in passing yards and 22nd in total yards. Most of his seasons were spent in mediocrity only cracking the top 10 in scoring twice. 2 out of 5 is great for baseball, but it gets you fired in football. The fun part has to be getting to watch the your team run on to win a Super Bowl without you.

No worries Cam, Jim Caldwell used that Super Bowl run to go coach the Lions. Enjoy LSU.

Since Caldwell's departure everyone was concerned that sweet talking Juan Castillo would somehow get the job. This is the same guy who talked Andy Reid into letting an offensive line coach(Castillo) be a defensive coordinator.So lets thank the football God's that Kubiak got fired! Now I know what one may think, this guy has been bashing everyone so far he's going to rip Kubiak apart. As a matter of fact, I'm not. Kubiak could turn me into a 1,000 yard rusher. You know, if I were to actually be in shape. One issue we had as a team last year was our ability to run the ball. We were 30th in the league after all .That had more to do with our line and injuries than anything else. Kubiak's system however follows this zone blocking scheme that Castillo teaches and as a matter of fact I suppose Kubiak is the Moses of. It was his teams that were the first to be overly successful with that blocking scheme. I feel like in Kubiak's career in Denver and Houston it didn't take a high draft pick or a ton of talent (Olandis Gary much) to become a 1,000 yard rusher in his system. During his 11 year tenure the Broncos won 2 Super Bowls, tallied up 66,501 yards and 465 TDs. The most in the NFL during that span (1995-2005). However don't compare what Kubiak has done in Denver with Elway to what he can do here with Flacco. The two QBs aren't on the same page, chapter or book. At least not yet.

Focus on Houston where he turned a franchise from an expansion team into a contender. The team was all over the place, inconsistent to say the least. The franchise didn't really see results on the offensive side of the ball until they got Matt Schaub from the Falcons back in 2007. It showed in their passing game that hovered around the top of the league including being the top passing attack in 2009. Honestly Kubiak's offense in Houston can relate to how a lot of people feel Joe Flacco's regular season has been. Inconsistent. A lot of ups and downs with the stats especially in the rushing game that everyone is hoping that Kubiak can improve. Breaking down the stats (passing, rushing, total yards and scoring) some areas are all over the place. The scoring numbers are sandwiched by 2 terrible seasons (2006 and 2013) where the team was one of the worst in the league. Forgetting all the issues the team had in those seasons whether it be injuries or Schaub throwing TDs to the opponent the offense still performed between the twenties. From '07 to '12 his were among the top offensive teams in the league. When they lacked a running game they had the top passing game. Finding an unknown stud like Arian Foster fixed that issue. Last season without Foster for most of it(eventually also losing Ben Tate, Foster's backup) the Texans were the 20th ranked rushing attack. 10 spots higher than the Ravens.

I'm not drinking the Kubiak Kool-Aid yet. I need to see some real game action to support my feelings toward this team and him. However I do think if the offense does perform and there are team issues that because of Kubiak's head coaching experience and Super Bowl pedigree that John Harbaugh has to stay on top of his game. Come see me midseason, hopefully I will have a cup ready to sip on that delicious sounding Kubiak Kool-Aid.

An Open Letter To the Fantasy Gods

Dear Fantasy Gods,

First of all, hello. How's life been treating you? Bet you guys are happy the NFL lockout ended. Me to. In other news, thanks for helping me get second place in my fantasy baseball league. That was great! Last to second place, very nice work.

However, this football season has been very unfair. First in one league you tell me that I have the best draft class. Then you smash my hopes in my survival league as I doubt the Redskins and pick the Giants. Really? You couldn't let Rex Grossman have one turnover in that game? I mean, I guess you made up for it the next week but come on. That isn't even the worst part.

Back to that whole "best draft class" thing. My Group of Flunkies has been exactly that. Three weeks into the season and they have only managed 179 total points. I know you guys know your math but that isnt even 60 points a week. Seriously?!? My highest scorer is Kevin Kolb. KEVIN, wait for it, KOLB! I have Vick, Desean Jackson, Chris Johnson, I mean surely one of them could have an awesome week! On a team with such potential my high scorers I haven't had one good week (until this week where I gave up on Vick - 33 points on my bench - and picked up Grossman - 7 points in my lineup - who was playing the Rams, epic fail. Needless to say, I'm down 26, my opponent is done and I have Addai playing tonight. I could have won.).

Of course I give up on my starters and start playing recent pickups who had good weeks last week, Nate Washington and Grossman against a poor opponent. I play Felix Jones who had a great week last week, on my bench, instead of Johnson and they reverse their production this week. I sit Ben Tate, since you allowed Arian Foster to get healthy, only to watch Foster own and Tate's value flush down the toilet. Also this week Tim Hightower becomes useless since Shanahan can't stick with one RB to handle the majority of the workload. Thanks a lot Shany, in the words of a pop culture icon, "I don't even know you and I hate yo guts." I just can't win, literally.

Also, why in the world do I have to face a QB who has a career week each week. This week, for example, I faced Aaron Rodgers and Cam Newton. I knew going in Rodgers was going to put up good numbers but, dramatic pause, really? He had to put up 53! In each league, occasionally in both, my opponents QB has at least 3 TDs or puts up 20+ points (Newton put up 33, respectively). It is honestly insane. Sure, Vick in week 1 posted good numbers (and this week on my bench as I said before) but he was terrible or injured in weeks 2 and 3. If it isn't their QBs blowing up its two players, as it was in week 1. When playing my uncle, Schaub scores 10. Lesean McCoy and the Bears D go off for 24 each and the only one on my team to produce is Vick.

Fantasy Gods I know you are very busy so I won't bore you with my fantasy football rage. At least for another week. However, if you don't let me win soon my head my explode. I have a wife and child. They don't need to see that. In closing, I hope you enjoy the gift basket that I sent you. It has cookies in the shape of little footballs. I know how much you love those.

One Love,
Brandan